The Pack Mentality: Our Place, The Next Right Choice, All About Him & The Catbox's Operating Manual

The Gals of Our Place & the Next Right Choice & All About Him
at their Latest Get-Together

by Tertia Loebenberg

What is it about anonymity that brings out the worst in people? I don’t get it.

I know that I am perhaps too honest sometimes, too public, too open and so I am probably not the best person to understand this, but I really do not get why people think they can be rude / hateful / spiteful / nasty / mean / just plain ugly if they think they can get away with it. What I want to know is, don’t they feel just a little bit bad? Do they have a conscience? When they go to sleep at night, do they feel at least a smattering of guilt for what they have done to others? How does being anonymous change who you really are? If you believe so strongly in your opinion / belief, then say it openly. Stand up and have the strength of your convictions. Be proud of who you are and what you have to say. The fact that you are hiding behind anonymity makes me think that either you are a coward, or deep down, you doubt what you have to say.

There is an online support forum that I sometimes read. I don’t participate too often for obvious reasons, but I read, just in case there is someone I can reach out to and help / offer encouragement etc. This forum is set up in a way that allows people to post anonymously, with pretty much a guarantee that their identity will not be known. And people use this in the most spiteful of ways. They post their regular posts under their ‘known name or pseudonym and when they get pissed at someone or something, they post anonymously. They attack other people, say horrible things, be really mean… all because they can get away with it.

I honesty don’t get it. I find it extremely cowardly and deceitful. It smacks of bullying. Of meanness. And it brings out the worst kind of pack mentality among others. It is so ugly. I would hate to ever be that ugly.

Of course there are many occasions when being anonymous is absolutely acceptable and even preferable. There are times when knowing one’s real identity could be dangerous / embarrassing etc. Although I am very open and public, I do understand that many others choose not to be so open. That’s fine. My issue is with the people who spew hatred and ugliness towards others only because they can get away with it. My feeling is that if you feel that strongly about something, stand up and say it openly. Be proud of what you believe in.

The hate comments, the slander and hate sites, the vicious attacks, belittling other people …… is that how you think it should be done?

I wonder…. do these people have a conscience? Do you think they feel even slightly guilty about the distress they cause others? I can’t believe that they don’t. I know I am naïve, but I just find it impossible to believe that anyone could be so hateful to others and not feel at least a bit bad.

But then, if they don’t feel bad, let me ask this question: if it was done to them, would they feel hurt or upset? And if they still feel their behaviour is justifiable, let me ask another question: if someone had to do what you did to your daughter or son, how would you feel about it then?

I was disappointed to see how on the forum I mentioned, a group of regular posters hid behind anonymity to attack a fellow regular poster (admin). How the pack mentality came out when they realized they could get away with it. That’s not on. Really not on. This ugly veiled cloak of anonymity has facilitated a free-for-all vicious attack from people who don’t have the guts to stand and openly say what they really think. What a pity. And to think that it is supposed to be a support forum.

Are you proud of yourself for making that woman feel shit about herself? Are you? Was it necessary to attack her? Even if you believe she is an asshole / wrong / whatever, do you really think you did the right thing? I don’t know. I don’t think being anonymous excuses you from basic human decency. I think you should be ashamed of yourself actually. I think you acted like a bunch of bullies.

I see it all the time. Find a victim, someone who either rubs you up the wrong way, or does something that doesn’t fit into your definition of acceptable. Maybe even someone who you are a little jealous of, although you would never admit it, and publicly rip her to shreds while hiding behind your anonymity. Then sit back and watch while your fellow mean spirited cowards join in the feeding frenzy. Like a pack of hyenas picking at the bones of the befallen pray, cackling your evil laugh and congratulating yourself at yet another conquest. A hollow victory meant to inflate sense of self worth. Sad.

I find it very hard to understand. But mostly, I find it really sad that people like that exist out there.

Read more: http://www.tertia.org/
(Under Creative Commons License: Attribution)