The Healing Power of Anger

(uh oh... look out biatches... a DOCTOR says anger is a GOOD THING!! Look out... TRUTH ALERT... go ram your head up your ass ASAP!!)

by Dr. John Rifkin

(excerpts)

The healing power of anger can transform you.

It is possible to change how anger affects ourselves and our loved ones. Happiness is not the absence of anger, but the intimate knowledge of how to make it work in your life.

An expert on teaching people about healing and anger, Dr. John Rifkin is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Boulder, Colorado who is breaking new ground in the understanding of anger. Dr. Rifkin explains that we should not and, indeed, cannot stop anger from happening.

Anger is a natural, healthy energy that has an emotional spectrum that ranges like a thermometer from ice cold to red hot.

Between ice-cold and red-hot extremes, anger has a normal and healthy range that empowers and fulfills your life, even if you don't understand that it's anger at work.
Anger is not just about yelling and screaming. The energy known as anger is always present in everyone.

Understanding anger and getting past the stereotypes and misconceptions!

"The Third Gift"

Almost everyone understands anger's power to be destructive. People say things in anger that hurt other people's feelings and even act out their anger violently, causing physical injury and pain.

What is not well understood is that anger is a valuable part of the human emotional experience. Anger is not some dysfunctional, testosterone-induced malfunction in the human design. It is there for a reason and it is extremely valuable. Your anger has the power to help you to heal the injuries both from your childhood as well as those that you experience in your daily life . Anger is the natural healing energy that the body generates in response to injury. Along with sadness and fear, it is a secondary emotion that occurs in response to the pain of injury.

Understand the full meaning of anger and the role it is meant to play in the development of your own personal power and healing... It will help you as you learn how to resolve conflicts in your intimate relationships.... and take back your self-esteem!

It also explains why I have come to believe that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the universal underlying diagnosis for all of us. I discuss the process of working to heal trauma, how to deal effectively with anxiety problems, and the relationship between anxiety and anger.

Wait!!... I'm not entitled to be angry right?... or have 'violent revenge fantasies...? nothing a good bubble bath or some cookies wouldn't solve right?

POEM FOR A PSYCHOPATH

dearest darling psychonarc
i'm so forlorn, now we're apart

i miss the way you used to gloat
and wrap your hands around my throat

i miss the way you used to smirk
i miss the way you used to lurk

i miss the way we never talked
and now alas, i'm being stalked.

why do you call me and not speak
is it heartache makes you meek?

is that you dear, coming nearer
when i glance into my rear view mirror?

as you watch me from afar
are you making plans to steal THE car?

if you plan for us to meet again
where can they find your next of kin....

CO-DEPENDENCE?

Co-dependence?
The victims of narcissists are relentlessly re-victimized by a rationale for blaming the victim called co-dependence. I am still waiting for some evidence or explanation to persuade me that there is such a thing, so I’m still open to the idea. But, sorry, I haven’t heard a single reason to think that there even is such a thing as co-dependence. So, I am very skeptical.

I’ll share my reasons for that skepticism, not so much to persuade you as to give you reason for pause, some food for thought.

Reason 1
I trust science, including medical science. But not blindly. I know science and have seen enough bad science to have no illusions about the integrity of scientists and doctors. I know that they are just people, as capable of dishonesty as any other people, that they herd, gaining up in groupthink. They mocked Louis Pasteur. They predicted the end of the world by now due to population explosion. They ignored the evidence in favor of a low carbohydrate diet for decades, till it suddenly became the politically correct rage. And now they are pulling the same stunt with their faux science on global warming.

But the rest of science and medical science is squeaky clean compared to psychology.

I have always been amazed at what passes for “science” in psychology. Psychology experiments are notorious for not following scientific method, even to the point of not controlling the variables. True, other doctors sometimes differ in their diagnoses, and we can identify fashion trends in diagnosis. But other doctors are near perfect in the reproducibility of their results compared to psychiatrists. Psychiatrists are notorious for diagnosing the same person differently. They are notorious for covering all bases by “throwing the book” at a patient with a diagnosis of several disorders. And they are notorious for following fashion trends in diagnosis.

Moreover, for obvious reasons, the profession attracts more than its share of narcissists and others manifestly odd and eccentric. In one of the universities I attended, the whole psych department was flaky except for one – yes but one – professor.Sorry, I know it’s taboo to know this truth, but I do. Every profession attracts more than its share of something that doesn’t belong there.

For example, the priesthood and the teaching profession attract more than their share of pedophiles. Police work attracts more than its share of bullies. And so on. So, let’s face it: psychology attracts more than it’s share of fruitcakes.What does this mean? Does it mean that we should doubt everything the established medical authorities say? No. It just means that they aren’t infallible and that, if what they say doesn’t square with logic and observation, you should have a healthy skepticism.

Reason 2. Just because there is such a thing as the martyr complex doesn’t mean that it applies to a relationship with a narcissist. A person with a isn’t martyr complex isn't really abused and doesn’t seek real abuse. He or she likes to imagine themselves abused and portray themselves as abused.There’s a big difference between that and seeking real abuse!

Reason 3. In my own little slice of the world, this is what I have observed and learned from other victims: there is such a thing as the cycle of abuse. It does cause the victim to behave in ways that seem strange to outside observers – as if they are “asking for it.”People’s bad habit of always tending to blame the victim makes everyone jump to the conclusion that this is so = that they are "asking for it." But in the cases I know of, it never was.In fact, the victims of narcissists behave exactly the same way the victims of all torture and brainwashing do, exactly the way all hostages do.

So, strange as it seems, this behavior is the reaction of NORMAL people to abuse. All the tortured cling to the torturer for dear life. All hostages exhibit the Stockholm syndrome. This has been known since at least the Dark Ages. Professional torturers (executioners) and the Inquisition understood this phenomenon and deliberately exploited it to make their victims betray themselves to abuse.

Why do normal people do this under duress? It’s because you’re taking right-side-up people and putting them in a pervert’s upside-down world. You’re taking people acting on normal human premises and having those reactions play right into pervert’s perverted premises.The abuser always makes the victim totally dependant on him before he starts abusing. So, what is the victim going to do? She has no choice but to try to soften a stone-cold heart. This is nothing but appeasement. The helpless have no other option.

We see this happening on a massive scale today in the bizarre efforts to appease the abuses of Islamofascist mobs and terrorists the world over. “Don’t make them mad! Don’t think badly of them for what they do. Apologize for making them abuse us by making them mad at us. Blame ourselves for everything they do to us. Bend over for it with a smile. Suck up. Then maybe they will soften and like us and stop abusing us.”

Pass me the puke bucket, please.The West has no excuse for such cowardly appeasement, because the West isn’t helpless. The western nations are just too unwilling to stop squabbling among themselves, get real, and unite against a common enemy (a problem the West has had since the Fall of the Roman Empire).

But the victims of narcissists often ARE helpless.And even when they aren’t, when they can and do try to fight back, some holier-than-thou comes along and says it’s a sin. Then then whole world gangs up and jumps on the victim’s back saying, “Yes, stop it. Stop fighting because that’s a sin.”Who has a strong enough backbone to stand up to that? This merciless suppression of any effort at self defense breaks the victim’s back. holier-Then these same holier- than-thous turn around and say, “See? She just takes it. So, she likes it. She’s asking for it.”

Perhaps THEY are the ones who need their heads examined, not the victim they thus play Catch-22 with. I see no self-masochism in this victim, do you? I just see a normal human being in Catch-22.What is Catch-22? It’s the English translation of the Italian phrase for the 22nd "malbowge" ("evil pouch/pocket") of Nether Hell in Dante's Inferno. That's the lowest pit of hell, the place where the treacherous, the traitors, get to experience their sin on the receiving end. It’s where Dante put Judas priests, the likes of people who invite a family to dinner and then lock them in a tower to starve to death, as well as Julius Caesar’s “friend” Brutus and Judas Iscariot.

As I’ve said in other posts, the victim WILL feel shame for bending over for it, to the extent that he or she failed to resist as much as possible. And, as I’ve said, this is why the victim must never be condemned for fighting back.But, come on, knuckling under to abuse isn’t the same thing as liking it and wanting it. Normal people may knuckle under. But only sick-in-the-head people could like it and ask for it. So, my hunch is that cases of co-dependence in narcissism are either rare or never occur.

People ASSUME that the victim wants abuse in their IGNORANCE of the real and understandable reasons why the victim doesn’t fight back or run away.

Kathy Krajco

CLEANING UP THE WORLD, ONE PSYCHOPATH AT AT A TIME.......

~~~~~

The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein

Mike McGrannahan is a psychopath... a vile, heinous monster... who murdered my beloved dog, BEN... and tried to murder me twice... and who made my life a living Hell for years... and now i intend to try to return the favor...we cannot allow these demons to destroy out lives, then stand silently by while they go on to victimize another and another and another...

Psychopaths work by stealth... by not being known... the best way to hurt a Psychopath is to make them KNOWN for what they are... i am winning my war against the psychpath Mike McGrannahan... when his name is googled, his profile on DatingPsychos is the first thing that pops up... i'm sure this has caused him considerable trouble, as potential employers will often google an applicant's name...

i know i've caused him some problems because of an email i recently received from the elusive psychopath...

Is this still your email address? I'm supposed to be a smart guy even though I've dumbed myself down a bit over the years. I've watched a lot of TV and I've watched you and I still can't understand why a person does intentional harm to another human being.

booooooo hoooooooo... pretty crybaby bullshit coming from a PSYCHOPATH who murdered one of my dogs, threatened the lives of the others daily, tried to murder me, pillaged and plundered me, abused me mercilessly for years, ran my business into the ground and told me every day 'when i'm through with you, you'll have nothing, bitch' ...boooooooo hoooooooo ...someone call this piece of shit a WHAAAAAAAMBULANCE...

ANNOUNCING: NEW BLOG....

i know that some of you have already been sent links to my new project... a blog devoted entirely to BinkStink and other abusive pieces of crap just like her... who prey upon and further victimize abuse victims...

which will free up more space here for other issues... i want to thank everyone for all the views my new blog has gotten already, even though it is still under construction!!. it will soon be completely finished.. and when it is, i will post a link to it here... i have been working feverishlyon the new blog... but as you know...

someone with severe PTSD such as mine isn't really capable of putting enough thoughts together to build or maintain such a professional looking blog.... RIGHT, DIAGNOSTICIAN BINKSTINK?

A person who is "disabled" because of their "complex PTSD" cannot manage to string enough thoughts together to set up a blog such as yours

guess we'll soon see... huh BinkStink?.. :)

http://binkstink.blogspot.com

HUNGRY.....

as those of you who have been reading my blog know... Tallulah and company with all their denial and delusion and magical thinking... don't believe anyone is poor or cold or unemployed or HUNGRY in this country... unless of course, it was their NEXT RIGHT CHOICE...

~

moronic bitches... the Missouri Food Bank Association released a study yesterday on HUNGER in Missouri (where my pets and i EXIST)... it was SHOCKING.... so shocking that it actually made the news!!! YES!!. even surpassing lies about the economy picking up and the Toyota debacle... by the way, bitches... i hope you ALL own a late model Corolla, and are magically thinking the piece of shit will MAKE THE NEXT RIGHT STOP!!! and i'm hoping it will choose OTHERWISE!!....

"The study paints a stark picture of who is hungry in Missouri and the reality these people face" MFBA director Scott Baker said. "Hunger is an increasingly pervasive problem in Missouri. It knows no racial, geographic or demographic boundaries."

hmmmm... well... i'm sure that WHOEVER we are... we're just a bunch of 'lazy ignorant poor', right Tallulah??? we're just not TRYING HARD ENOUGH... JUST NOT MAKING THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE!!!

here's what the study had to say about the NEXT RIGHT CHOICE OF THESE PEOPLE!!!

VERY DIFFICULT CHOICES FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH HUNGER:

48% have to CHOOSE between having food or paying utlities!

36% have to CHOOSE between having food or paying their rent or mortgage!!

37% have to CHOOSE between having food or paying for medical care or medications!

why, those IGNORANT LAZY POOR!!! HOW DARE THEY!!. HOW DARE THEY WANT TO HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS OR UTILITIES!!. WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE???!! RIGHT, TALLULAH????

BUT LOOK!!. LOOK, YOU HATEFUL, SELFISH, ASININE BITCH!!! THEY'RE NOT QUITE AS IGNORANT AND LAZY AS YOU LIKE TO MAKE THEM OUT TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Six food banks and over 1,000 agencies (pantries, shelters and kitchens) make upthe MFBA network. This network provides food for a broad cross section of households. Key characteristics include:

~

39% of the members of households are children under 18 years old

10% of the members of households are children age 0 to 5 years old

66% percent of clients are non-Hispanic White, 27% are non-Hispanic Black, and 4% are Hispanic

42% of the households include at LEAST ONE EMPLOYED ADULT.

~

This growing problem can only be solved by acknowledging the situation and uniting to confront it head on.," Scott Baker said. "Attitude is imperative if we are to address a dilemma of this magnitude."

~

the entire suvey can be read online at www.feedingmissouri.org

well... GOOD LUCK, Scott!!. because as long as snide, sanctimonious, magical thinking, BLAMING BITCHES like Tallulah are around... the ATTITUDE will be surly... .and the ACKNOWLEDGMENT will be as minimal as possible!!

being HUNGRY is not fun... i've gone HUNGRY... LOTS OF TIMES ... for years the psychopath's favorite form of abuse was ECONOMIC... he wouldn't work... he is IGNORANT AND LAZY, Tallulah... although you find him so ATTRACTIVE....HE is ignorant and lazy and abusive... and i'd work three jobs... and still go HUNGRY... and i have never gotten over it... being HUNGRY... when i started making decent money... i started HOARDING food... because he'd made me go hungry before... and my plan was to not let it happen again... so i HOARDED food... in my beautiful cedar home in an exclusive neighborhood...

~

and now... because of the psychopath... i'm HUNGRY again... i put my pets first... i always have and i always will... i'm getting 200 dollars a month in food stamps... and i spend almost every nickel of it on them... i stand in grocery stores... weeping... i look at baby greens... LONG for a salad... but i don't buy it... instead i buy something for the dogs and cats... i carefully read the sale ads... looking for the cheapest prices... looking to stretch that 200 dollars... i cannot tell you how many times i've picked up a 50 cent can of soup... only to set it back down... because 50 cents will buy a loaf of cheap bread for the dogs...

~

and i am NOT IGNORANT OR LAZY... i am beaten and battered and HOPELESS... i am a beaten battered abused woman... USED ABUSED AND ABANDONED by a criminal psychopath... left with the responsibility of a FAMILY to care for... and NO MEANS TO DO IT!!. if i were to find a crappy minimum wage job... my food stamps would be taken from me... and i'd still be in the SAME SHAPE... HUNGRY... it would always come down to feed my pets... or feed myself... and there would never be enough for ANY OF US... we will ALL always be HUNGRY...

~

and that's REALITY... a REALITY that i am tired of LIVING in...

~

it's not lost on me... all the ATTACKS launched on me by those bitches... but NEVER EVER is he made mention of ... the PSYCHOPATH or his behavior is never mentioned... i am attacked for my poverty... but no one ever attacks the MONSTER who caused my poverty!!.

WHY IS THAT??????... WHY ARE MY PETS AND I ATTACKED AND DERIDED AND CHIDED AND DESPISED FOR BEING HUNGRY... WHILE THE PSYCHOPATH WHO DESTROYED OUR LIVES AND DROVE US TO THIS POINT IS FOUND ATTRACTIVE???...

.........................................................................................................

BEN

2/14/2007

MURDERED

BY THE PSYCHOPATH

Mike McGrannahan

THERE WILL BE NO FORGIVENESS

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED

“Justice is incidental to law and order.”J. Edgar Hoover

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."- Chaim Herzog

MUZZLING THE ABUSIVE WOMEN OF OUR PLACE

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere.” – Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel.

~~~~

I've been monitoring ie interfering at Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox... .and i notice that the abusive spews have dropped off considerably... as has new membership... i'm sure they're very upset with me.....how DARE i, yada yada yada...i believe a better question would be....how DARE THEY sucker in abuse victims....and start abusing them, controlling them and forcing them to drink their SNAKE OIL??!!.....hey, if some of those bitches want to take the credit for thier own abuse, want to take repsonsibility for some piece of lowlife shit who would abuse a ROCK if nothing else was available.....and flagellate themselves incessantly over their participation in their abusive situations...then i'm not opposed to it.....in some of their cases i'm actually all in IN FAVOR OF IT....but i do oppose them projecting and forcing THEIR BULLSHIT onto ME!!!....and onto other innocent women who stumble into those little nests of vipers.....

~

on Our Place there have been no attacks launched on the NEW VICTIM of an abuser since Lily's charming 'boil her in oil' comment made the front page of my blog....that topic...http://forums.our-place-online.net/index.php?showtopic=4379 has since been removed!!...no doubt for the safety of the posters!!..ie.......to cover the abusive tracks of the abusive bitches!!...abusive posts being removed!!...looks like they're taking my crackpot blog seriously enough to remove some of their own abusive posts!!!....this is VERY GOOD NEWS....the bad news is, bitches... in the future i will include SCREEN SHOTS of your spews, to prevent the rewriting of history...... :)

~

and Tallulah has been driven to post her attacks on me at an obscure blog maintained by someone who herself was so abusive she was banned from the Catbox administrative team after Irene caught her and Moongoddess attacking members in not-so-private emails...

these are little victories... they've had to tone down their abuse... they've been driven into dark corners, or into their secret forum... where at least no one can see their hateful abusive diatribes...

~

their new membership has gone down to a trickle... and that trickle is likely pure fabrication... they've been known to invent new members........

~

how's it feel, LADIES???... for years you attacked abused women... openly and willfully... while CENSORING them... controlling their ability to defend themselves from your attacks... how does it feel to have to watch what you say???... .WALK ON EGGSHELLS??? ...

~

how's it feel to be MUZZLED??.. how do you like finding out that although you could slander me on your own nasty little abusive forums... and still try to attack and discredit me anywhere you can, in any way you can... out here in the DAYLIGHT, away from your little pack of Jackals... people are seeing how abusive YOU are????.

~

abusers don't stop abusing... i can only wonder who you'll turn it on now... the HOMELESS?... BEGGARS ??... will you start TAUNTING street people for not 'trying hard enough'???... you probably already do, when you think no one is watching... .frankly, my dears,....i suggest cannibalism....it's always the next right choice!! :)

~

i'll be watching you on those forums... every single day... .and anytime i see you treating other people the way you treated me and others... i'm going to post it here... and attack you for it... just like you attacked ME.. for being sad... for being angry... for missing my home... for refusing to take the blame for my abuse. for refusing to feel SORRY for the bastard who murdered my dog..for refusing to reduce myself to magical thinking...for refusing to be a coward..... for refusing to be further abused by a bunch of hateful bitches who aren't much better than the psychopath himself..

~~

i haven't been able to SHUT YOU DOWN, yet, but it does look like i've been able to SHUT SOME OF YOU UP........and i'm going to stay right here....and i'm going to keep doing it.....one of you sanctimonious bitches asked me how i, as an abuse survivor intend to help other abuse victims........well, this is HOW, bitches....by unmasking ONE LYING MANIPULATING ABUSIVE NARCISSISTIC FAUX ABUSE VICTIM AT A TIME.......you never liked me on those forums because i wouldn't just shut up take your abuse and drink your venom laced kool aid.......so.....HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW????

UPDATE!!

~~~

LOOK!! a new and improved Tallulah!!! this is from Our Place yesterday....

Welcome, Buckeye!Narcissistic/Borderline Personality Disorders are really NOT treatable. They can't change. They're sociopaths. Read everything you can find on these disorders. Trust me on this. You can feel sorry for him but do it at a distance. A GREAT distance. Tallulah

~

wow...great advice....NARCISSISTIC/BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS aren't treatable!!...they can't change!!....finally....speaking from her OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.....as a NARC!!...what a miraculous turnaround from the venom she was spewing at me just the day before!!!....

~

and in the same post Lily was quoting the Bible instead of looking for flammable liquids and a lighter!!.....

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!!!....TOTALLY FAKE...but an improvement nonetheless......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEN - killed on 2/14/2007

MURDERED BY MY PSYCHOPATH HUSBAND

smothered to death in his own bed

i will not forgive and i will not forget

i love you BEN

justice will be served

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.
The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
- Chaim Herzog

"BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS"... RIGHT, TALLULAH?

i've said before how i just LOVE to quote members of Our Place, The Next RightChoice , and the Catbox... because it makes it very hard for them to deny how nasty and abusive they REALLY are...

~

Tallulah...aready named here as a charter member of the PIRAHNA'S CLUB... a woman who is so desperate for a man that she finds a dog murdering predator 'attractive'..(see DOG MURDERING predator below)..however, it's becoming more clear all the time how much she and the narcissistic, self absorbed, selfish, withholding piece of shit PSYCHOPATH actually have in common....Tallulah is a turbo charged, misanthropic, rocket fueled, huge, throbbing AYN RANDORRHOID!!...who considers herself a SUPERIOR BEING...well, Tallulah, you're a SUPERIOR HYPOCRITE, and a SUPERIOR BITCH...wonder how all those abused women you consider to be BENEATH YOU are going to like you NOW! ..now that they know what you REALLY think of them and their PROBLEMS...now that they'll know how you BEGRUDGE them any help they receive!!!

~

Tallulah has recently shown a little more of her true self... she is a longtime member of The Next Right Choice... a vapid little online tea party for back-stabbing bitches thinly disguised as a 'forum for living well'... the premise of that pile of bullshit they espouse is 'choices'... everyone has 'choices'... lots and lots and lots of 'choices'... everything that happens to a victim of abuse is by 'choice'... they 'choose' how they react to abuse... they 'choose' whether to forgive and forget and get back to the business of 'living well'... that said, you're about to see what a total hypocrite Tallulah is...

~

i have been posting on a little blog set up by a disgruntled banned administrator of the Catbox... i won't provide a link or give the name of the blog, as it would just feed another Ayn RANDORRHOID vampire....... Tallulah, always looking for a pot of shit to stir, quickly appeared there... calling herself Mata Hari! ... Mata Hari... a double agent... spy... prostitute... interesting CHOICE of names...

~

i was posting about poverty and homelessness in the United States... how shameful it is... how widespread it is... and how ignored it is...

i was also saying, that as a VICTIM OF ABUSE... that because i am now in poverty, as are so MANY victims of domestic violence... and that because i have no health insurance... that i have no access to any decent therapy for my complex PTSD... or, as a single woman, access to any sort of medical care at all... or any government aid, except for food stamps.... this is what that kind, caring , alleged victim of domestic abuse,Tallulah, had to say...

Re: nothing to do but let them go
mata_hari41
2009-12-30 02:11 pm (UTC)
"How DARE people seeking help, ask for help on THEIR TERMS!!"

How dare ~YOU~ expect top of the line, top notch help simply for the fact that you can't afford to pay for ANY help whatsoever!

"Gee, I can't afford even a 1970 Pinto, therefore, you OWE ME a fvcking MERCEDES."

Pleeezzz. Pffft.How does that saying go??? Oh yeah. *BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS."

And you, [confederaterebel], have the temerity to quote Ayn Rand??? LOL! You'll have her spinning in her grave.

YES, Tallulah; i have not only the temerity to quote that amphetamine popping, bullshit spewing narcissistic BITCH, Ayn Rand.....i also have the temerity to quote YOU!!..

and there you have it... how DARE i, or anyone, including any victim of domestic violence expect decent help?... if a victim can't afford to PAY for help... she is not deserving of any... that's the REAL Tallulah... her REAL OPINIONS... unvarnished... she wasn't censoring herself there... this was spouted on a blog where she thought no one else would ever see or know what a hateful, selfish, abusive bitch she really is... in a lame attempt to lash out at me and taunt me about my poverty........

~

you would think a TRULY abused woman would have a little more compassion and sympathy for other abused women, wouldn't you?......you wouldn't think a REAL abuse victim would begrudge other victims having access to decent help and services, would you??....

isn't it IRONIC... that a member of Our Place and The Next Right Choice... where all they talk about is CHOICE... would turn around and say that BEGGARS can't be CHOOSERS... that a woman who gets on those forums and goes on and on about how victims deserve so much better doesn't REALLY seem to think victims deserve anything at all??!

~

now, is it just me... or does that bitch appear to have no compassion or empathy or caring for anyone??...other than her Ayn Randroid SELF....

below are quotes from research into domestic violence in MICHIGAN... which should be of particular interest to Tallulah/ Mata Hari... but apparently is of no interest at all:

Of current welfare recipients in Michigan, 63% have experienced physical abuse, and 51% have experienced severe physical abuse in their lifetimes.

Physical abuse/being afraid of someone was cited as the primary cause of homelessness in Michigan.

Over 50% of all homeless women and children REPORTED being victims of domestic violence.

Reasearch shows that a variety of factors contribute to the poverty of women and children who have experienced domestic violence, including lack of affordable housing,and lack of accessibity to legal assistance.

Some of the most signifigant factors are barriers to employment. These barriers consist of, among others: Psychological effects of domestic violence (PTSD, depression and anxiety)

these are facts... women who are victims of domestic violence often are driven into poverty... and yet, they still need HELP... in order to get proper treatment for PTSD, a victim needs to work with a therapist well trained in the effects and treatment of PTSD.... and yet... Tallulah/Mata Hari seems to resent any domestic violence victim having access to QUALITY care... because 'BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS'...

so... she is in effect, espousing DENYING victims of domestic violence any HOPE for decent help unless they can afford to PAY for it... and yet... in another post to me....here's what she had to say...

mata_hari41
2009-12-21 05:24 am (UTC)
No, there are THREE camps.
Inferno
Purgatory
Paradise

[confederaterebel] dwells in the Inferno. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

~

look at that hypocritical spew!!. she wants to deny hope to victims of domestic violence... and then wants to BERATE, CHASTISE AND TAUNT a victim for having no hope!!. this is about as abusive as it gets!!. looks like Tallulah/Mata Hari wants to reside in PARADISE (the self serving, Ayn Rand version)... while letting other abuse victims who are in poverty, rot in Hell...

~

an abusive, self serving, selfish, bitch who wants domestic violence victims who are living in poverty due to domestic violence to not have access to good quality medical and psychiatric care because they are POOR... and therefore 'beggars can't be choosers'... who then taunts me when i say i have no hope... which is what she wants for ALL domestic violence victims... and then attacks me for quoting her PERSONAL SAVIOR Ayn Rand, whose words she seems to think she owns the copyrights to...

~

the Ayn Rand quote in question is:

'we can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of reality'

Tallulah/ Mata Hari... i guess your hero Ayn Rand must have been talking about YOU...

because although you attempt to CONCEAL the REALITY of you being a cold hearted, callous, selfish, petty misanthrope; who doesn't want domestic violence victims to have access to decent care, due to their POVERTY... you cannot EVADE the CONSEQUENCES of that REALITY... because here are the CONSEQUENCES... you've been OUTED... as a self serving, self absorbed, selfish, two faced, abusive, NARCISSISTIC, AYN RAND WORSHIPPING, IGNORANT BITCH...

and you've outed yourself......... with your own words...

<

she (and her Narc bitch sisters on the Our Place & Next Right Choice sooper secret forums where they bash abused women behind their backs) will no doubt be glad to know that the insurance industry is behind her all the way in keeping domestic violence victims 'beggars' who cannot ever be 'choosers':

http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/Stories/2009/October/07/Domestic-

Abuse.aspx

~~~~~~

UPDATE!!!

here's another recent bit of insight into Tallulah's opinions on the poor, the homeless and the unemployed... it's true what they say about Narcs... they don't read the papers or watch the news... they already know everything about

everything!!.. i'm sure her personal savior Ayn Rand would be quite proud of this spew:

Re: upsetting your own rotten apple cart......
mata_hari41
2010-01-02 08:58 pm (UTC)
The downtrodden dirt poor ignorant don't have many choices other than begging.

People with ~intelligence~, such as yourself, Mary, DO. YOU have OPTIONS because you have a brain in your head.

~~

there is it... in her opinion... the 7.5 MILLION people in America who are unemployed or severely disabled... and the 48 MILLION who live in POVERTY... and the MILLIONS of homeless whose numbers are growing by the day... it's all because of THEIR IGNORANCE!!!. wow... BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS... BECAUSE THEY'RE IGNORANT!!!...

how many (according to mata hari) IGNORANT (ie: unemployed or disabled) people are reading my blog?... i'm so offended by this spew i can't quite put it into words!!. this is the pinnacle of NOT-ME, arrogant , haughty magical thinking... nope... it won't happen to HER... because she's INTELLIGENT... i like the way she spins it....sucking up a little... .saying that i COULD DO BETTER... because i'm not like all those other IGNORANT PEOPLE... because i have INTELLIGENCE... geez... this bitch for sure needs to be dropped from a helicopter into Appalachia...

~~

i've come back to this...because this one is really crawls my ass like cheap underwear......the ol bait and switch....HELEN KELLER could see through THIS crap, Tallulah!!...let's for once not allow a NARC to rewrite history....let's glace back .....this started with her posting to me that i DWELL IN THE INFERNO...not too chummy a post....then it escalates to BEGGARS (me) CAN'T BE CHOOSERS...a very nasty post... add this in with SEVERAL MORE NASTY POSTS in which she adamantly defends finding the son of a bitch who murdered my beloved dog, and tried twice to murder me, ATTRACTIVE, and slimes me with the standard abuser ploy of calling me CRAZY when i refuse to back down.........and then she pulls the old gaslighting bait and switch (yawn).....i lived with the GRAND ZEN MASTER of abusers...and while suffering through that abuse...i managed to LEARN a little about how he operates.....which is the SAME WAY Tallulah is operating IN THESE POSTS....she is relentlessly abusive to me....and then....the bitch attempts to FLATTER me...and suggests that we're somehow 'in the same boat'......WRONG!!!!.....we're not even on the same planet, Tallulah.... we're not even the same SPECIES....you're a NARCISSISTIC ABUSER....

~~~

YET ANOTHER UPDATE!

~~~

it seems that although Tallulah believes that BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS... she doesn't have any problem with CHOOSING HER BEGGARS!!... yes... in order for a beggar to have money bestowed upon them by Tallulah... they must pass a rigorous inspection process... to determine if they are worthy of her benevolence!!!!

Re: money
mata_hari41
2010-01-03 09:10 pm (UTC)
Where is this going, Mary? Where? WHERE? Me, Bink, YOU, we'd lost everything. Hit rock bottom. Had our teeth proverbially knocked out and our noses metaphorically broken. What part of poverty & humiliation do you think we don't get? O fuck. We get it. Yes we do.

We also get that, with humiliation comes humility and the latter is a GOOD thing. A few weeks ago I was in downtown Ann Arbor. A woman approached me. She smiled at me and commented on how 'chilly' the weather was and then she asked me for a dollar. I gave it to her. Of course.

A few weeks later I was walking down the same Ann Arbor street. There was a man on the corner requesting money, a homeless man. There was hostility and resentment in his eyes and words. I walked past him twice and NO I didn't give him a fucking cent. Almost did, but I thought, NO, people who want to make a sale DON'T do it that way.

~~

let's see... 'what part of poverty and HUMILIATION do you think we don't get'... so then she's strolling through Ann Arbor... comes across a beggar willing to SMILE in exchange for a dollar... a CHEERFUL BEGGAR...so she throws her a buck, and no doubt made the woman sign a receipt for it... then a couple of weeks later... strolling through Ann Arbor again... she comes upon another BEGGAR... 'hostility and resentment in his eyes'... yikes... can't imagine someone in poverty, having to beg on the street in the wealthiest nation in the world not having a CHEERFUL ATTITUDE about it...

~
this of course doesn't sit well with SAINT TALLULAH... he apparently didn't have enough humility to suit her... so she... to quote her... 'DIDN'T GIVE HIM A FUCKING CENT'... because... 'PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MAKE A SALE DON'T DO IT THAT WAY'!!!!!! WELL... i'm surprised a SMILE would suffice... i'm surprised SAINT TALLULAH doesn't require the BEGGARS SHE CHOOSES to be in blackface... tap dancing and singing DIXIE!!... she's looking for a lot of humility in a beggar... but she doesn't really seem to have all that much herself... especially for considering humility to be a GOOD THING...

gee... i'd say that 'what part of poverty and HUMILIATION ' she doesn't get is ALL PARTS OF IT!!!!! forget Appalachia... she needs to be parachuted into Ethiopia... with only a 5,000 dollar prepaid Starbucks card and a tube of Estee Lauder Sun Block... oh yeah... and some humility...

~~

Tallulah then went on to insinuate that by me making statements concerning poverty... that of myself and others... that i am somehow SOLICITING money!!.

(please take note of how her behavior toward me has changed YET AGAIN....she tries the old tired gaslighting routine.....'we've all been there...you're intelligent'.....the bitch obviously doesn't think i'm too very intelligent....or she wouldn't be pulling this kind of bullshit!!...and now it's back to i'm a beggar who can't be a chooser...because of MY BAD ATTITUDE..that i can't find decent help because of MY BAD ATTITUDE...wonderful, benevolent saints like herself refuse to offer me help because of MY bad attitude....here's my bad attitude, Tallulah...go shove a dollar up your own sanctimonious ass!!)

the greedy are always paranoid that someone is out to fleece them of their dollar!!.. get a grip, Tallulah... AND... it's at your favorite victim hunting ground... Our Place... that the very FIRST thing you see is a PAYPAL BUTTON!!!

'abandon your debit card pin, ye who enter there'... right Tallulah???. hahahahahahahahahaha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND NO MATTER WHAT THE BITCH TALLULAH BELIEVES... this is BEN... he was the love of my life... he was 15 years old... the psychopath that Tallulah INSISTS is so attractive smothered BEN to death on his own bed... on Valentines Day... February 14, 2007...

apparently this doesn't bother her a bit...
apparently NOTHING much bothers Tallulah the Ayn Randroid.....

BEN 2/14/2007

smothered to death in his own bed on Valentine's Day

MURDERED by the PSYCHOPATH Mike McGrannahan

mommy always loves you BEN,
i will not let him get away with murdering you

i promise

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
- Chaim Herzog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and THIS is the nasty dog murdering piece of psychopathic FILTH that murdered BEN...
the piece of scum that Tallulah KNOWS is a murdering PSYCHOPATH yet still finds so ATTRACTIVE...

Mike McGrannahan

Kansas City, Missouri

DOG MURDERER, WIFE BEATER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT

PSYCHOPATH

TALLULAH'S DREAM DATE

THE MOST EVIL AND LOATHSOME OF ABUSERS...THOSE WHO THREATEN, ABUSE AND MURDER PETS...THOSE BASTARDS DESERVE TO DIE!!!

THE PIECES OF WORTHLESS ABUSER SHIT WHO
THREATEN AND ABUSE AND MURDER PETS
DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!

this is a subject close to my heart...my abuser murdered one of my dogs...the love of my life....and daily threatened and abused my other pets...he threatened my daily with 'making them disappear'...he told me he would file false police reports (which he did)...get me arrested, (which he tried to failed to do) and sell them to research labs while i was 'locked up'....he kidnapped one and held him for ransom so he could go on a drinking and drugging spree...the theings he did to me we horrible enough..but the things he did to my pets are INEXCUSABLE...except of course on Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox..there i was chastised for my anger over him murdering my dog...there i was berated for hating him...for wanting him dead....not only was his abuse of me ignored and negated and glossed over....so was his abuse of pets he professed to love when it agrandized him...and cold bloodedly kidnapped and murdered, abandoned and neglected when that suited his agenda..they can forgive him...but i won't...... i want him that vile evil bastard dead... and he can't be dead soon enough or long enough or in a horrible enough manner to suit me... because the piece of filthy loathsome abusive SHIT murdered one my dogs..... and threatened and covertly abused the others... the threatening and abusing and mudering of pets... another MAJOR ASPECT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE that is NEVER ever mentioned on those VAPID, ASININE, INSIPID, POINTLESS FORUMS, Our Place, The Next Right Choice and Trubbles Catbox... i'm only surprised they didn't find a way to blame ME for HIM abusing my pets....i'm only surprised they didn't label my pets as CODEPENDENT!!!

another off limits topic... just ANOTHER form of abuse for them to minimize and ignore ...they have more compassion for an abuser than innocent animals!! ..... how many of their own abusers, who they defend and forgive, are guilty of this unspeakable , unforgiveable , undefendable, unconscionable crime???.. according to STATISTICS: PLENTY...

in surveys of domestic violence shelters........85% reported that victims talked about pet abuse, and reasearch shows that a whopping 73% of all women who reported domestic violence also reported that their abuser had either THREATENED/ HARMED/ OR MURDERED A PET....

LET'S GET REAL HERE... OF COURSE SOME PIECE OF SHIT WHO WOULD ABUSE A WOMAN WOULD HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT ABUSING A PET!!.. AND... THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INDUSTRY ITSELF HAS DONE ALMOST NOTHING TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE...

AND ARE THEY THEMSELVES ARE COMPLICIT IN THE CONTINUED OPPRESSION AND ABUSE OF WOMEN BY NOT MAKING PROVISIONS FOR AN EPIDEMIC SITUATION THAT THEY ARE WELL AWARE OF!

Unfortunately, many victims stay in abusive relationships because they don't know what to do with their pets. Many victims, up to 25%, report that concern for their pets had affected their decisions about leaving or staying with the batterer. Higher proportions of rural than urban women reported that their partners had threatened or harmed their pets and that concern for their pets had affected their decisions.

One way to further traumatize the human target of domestic violence is to injure or kill that person's beloved pet. When domestic violence erupts, family pets are often the first target because abusers understand and exploit the deep bond between pets and family members. Threatening the pet often causes the victim to stay for fear of what might happen to the animal if they leave. Studies have found that almost half of battered women delay their escape for that reason.

According to Wayne Pacelle, President and CEO of The Humane Society of the United States, "The bond between people and their pets is so powerful that people would rather stay in an abusive situation if it means protecting their animal. A pet is sometimes the only positive and unconditional relationship that a victim might have and that means they will do absolutely anything to keep them safe.

We want the law to recognize the deep significance of that relationship and acknowledge that for most people, a pet is part of the family and therefore a victim – and a pawn -- in the horrendous cycle of domestic violence."

To date, only three states -- Maine, New York and Vermont -- have enacted laws permitting family pets to be included in protective court orders involving cases of domestic violence. Such court orders are meant to shield animals as well as spouses and domestic partners from abusers

An additional 12 states: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, Rhode Island,Tennessee. Texas,Utah, Virginia, Washington, and the District of Columbia, have considered "pet protection" legislation.

Like many professionals working to protect victims of domestic violence, Jeanne Yeager, Executive Director of Mid-Shore Council on Family Violence in Maryland, supports adding pets to protection orders. "Such measures will provide much needed protection to clients with pets. Pet protection orders will offer victims of abuse an alternative to staying in abusive relationships for fear of what will happen to their pets if they leave."
~~~~~

THE UGLY FACTS:

Seven of every 10 families with minor children include a pet -- more than 64 million households in total.

Research shows that pet abuse is a predictor of domestic violence. Paying attention to pet abuse can save human lives.

Studies show that up to 73% of battered women report their pet was threatened, harmed, or killed by their partners.

A national survey found that 85% of women's shelters indicated that women seeking safety described incidents of pet abuse in their families.

Batterers threaten, abuse, or kill animals to demonstrate and confirm power and control over the family, to isolate the victim and children, and to prevent the victim from leaving or coerce her to return.

Domestic violence shelters and animal protection organizations have ONLY RECENTLY begun partnering to develop "safe havens" for pets of domestic violence victims because many victims delay leaving out of fear for their pets' safety. All too often, batterers punish victims for leaving by killing their pet. Yet, with the help of over 100 safe haven programs currently operating today in the U.S., many victims no longer have to choose between their safety and their pets.\




VICTIMS STILL DO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEIR SAFETY AND THEIR PETS...

i can speak from experience here... i lived in TERROR of my psychopath abuser... because of his constant threats against my pets... i had nowhere to take them... so i stayed... to provide them with a home... to try to keep them safe.....

the disinterested, bored, enabling police refused to arrest him after he tried to murder me... then left him to do as he pleased... and he did... there was no one to protect me... and no one to protect BEN... he murdered the love of my life... a helpless 15 year old dog... who had survived liver cancer, but could not survive an attack by a maniac... he smothered BEN to death in his own bed... on VALENTINES DAY...

this piece of shit doesn't need to see a go into treatment...he needs to go six feet underground.... this bastard doesn't need to be taken to jail... he needs to be taken to the gallows... this pyschopathic monster cannot be REFORMED... except into COMPOST.....

ignoring pet abuse and murder at Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox....par for the course...i've seen them post about feeling sorry for men who murder their wives and familes!!...compassion for killers...... while they ignored and minimized my abuse, and the abuse my pets suffered at the hands of that monster......and then there is Tallulah...who knowing what my psychpath abuser had done to me and my pets...upon seeing a photo of him...managed to find him 'attractive' and 'easy on the eyes'!!!!!.doesn't get any more caring and kind and compassionate than that..... and extended to the ABUSER, as usual..

they continue to makes excuses for piece of shit just like him... they take responsibility for the actions of pieces of sub human garbage... they forgive... they forget... they who told me to 'get over it'..... who told me i am wrong to DESPISE that PSYCHOPATH....wrong to be angry..... wrong to seek REVENGE... they who told me: LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE...

i wouldn't know whether living well is the best revenge... because i am not living well... the PSYCHOPATH did so much physical and emotional damage to me that i am UNABLE to work and LIVING IN POVERTY... and BEN... he won't know if living well is the best revenge, because BEN IS NO LONGER ALIVE... THANKS TO A PIECE OF ABUSIVE PSYCHOPATHIC SHIT... WHO DESERVES TO DIE...

BEN 2/14/2007

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
Chaim Herzog

_____________________________________

Michael (Mike) McGrannahan

Kansas City Missouri

DOG MURDERER, ABUSER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT

PSYCHOPATH

COCKROACH

UNFORGOTTEN

UNFORGIVEN

UNFIT TO LIVE!!!