(uh oh... look out biatches... a DOCTOR says anger is a GOOD THING!! Look out... TRUTH ALERT... go ram your head up your ass ASAP!!)
by Dr. John Rifkin(excerpts)The healing power of anger can transform you.It is possible to change how anger affects ourselves and our loved ones. Happiness is not the absence of anger, but the intimate knowledge of how to make it work in your life.An expert on teaching people about healing and anger, Dr. John Rifkin is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Boulder, Colorado who is breaking new ground in the understanding of anger. Dr. Rifkin explains that we should not and, indeed, cannot stop anger from happening.Anger is a natural, healthy energy that has an emotional spectrum that ranges like a thermometer from ice cold to red hot.Between ice-cold and red-hot extremes, anger has a normal and healthy range that empowers and fulfills your life, even if you don't understand that it's anger at work.Anger is not just about yelling and screaming. The energy known as anger is always present in everyone.Understanding anger and getting past the stereotypes and misconceptions!"The Third Gift"Almost everyone understands anger's power to be destructive. People say things in anger that hurt other people's feelings and even act out their anger violently, causing physical injury and pain.What is not well understood is that anger is a valuable part of the human emotional experience. Anger is not some dysfunctional, testosterone-induced malfunction in the human design. It is there for a reason and it is extremely valuable. Your anger has the power to help you to heal the injuries both from your childhood as well as those that you experience in your daily life . Anger is the natural healing energy that the body generates in response to injury. Along with sadness and fear, it is a secondary emotion that occurs in response to the pain of injury.
Understand the full meaning of anger and the role it is meant to play in the development of your own personal power and healing... It will help you as you learn how to resolve conflicts in your intimate relationships.... and take back your self-esteem!It also explains why I have come to believe that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the universal underlying diagnosis for all of us. I discuss the process of working to heal trauma, how to deal effectively with anxiety problems, and the relationship between anxiety and anger.
Wait!!... I'm not entitled to be angry right?... or have 'violent revenge fantasies...? nothing a good bubble bath or some cookies wouldn't solve right?
What do I do if I think I'm being abused?
Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.
http://www.our-place-online.net/abuseinfo.html
Wait a sec... let's look at this one... line by line
Educate yourself. But toss off the forums people who merely post information... heaven forbid anyone think for themselves... embrace rigorous truth or figure something out that we don't spoon feed them...
Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. See above.
We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. And we pilfered those resources from other sources, and don't you dare have better resources or stuff than us admins!!!
Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Don't confront us admins or Dr. Irene as only we get to decide how you should feel and how you should heal... or heel...
Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And we get to judge if your coping techniques are appropriate... don't stand up to the abuser... lie down... be codependent... blame yourself... feel sorry for your abuser... and most of all... BABY STEPS...
And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.
Unless it's us doing the mistreating, misinterpreting or avoiding the truth... then we blame you for having being honest, bad mouth you... call you an angry stalker or tell you you're wallowing, berate you and throw you off our precious forum... Our abuse IS your fault.
smell the hypocrisy anyone?
OMG!!.. when i first ventured into the world or forums for abused women... every other post was about baby steps!!!... 'take baby steps'... 'remember... baby steps... take baby steps'
i was stunned... but i quickly surmised that the rank and file on the catbox, and our place and the next right choice were whining, hand-wringing babies... so i guess the baby steps thing was to be expected...
but then... when i ventured into online therapy... dished up by a licensed therapist, for pete's sake... i heard the same thing... 'just take baby steps'...
uh... let's get real here... first off... we're not babies... and secondly... have you ever actually watched a baby taking 'baby steps'???... it's not pretty... one step forward... four steps back... they fall down a lot too... and sometimes they can't get up!!! baby steps don't get you anywhere!!! ask any real baby!!! a baby can take ten thousand steps, without ever escaping the imprisonment of her playpen!!.
let's can the 'baby steps' bullshit, ok?... it's insulting... and it's asinine...
The bitches on Our Place and Next Bogus Choice called members like me BITTER... Bitter? LOL! CLICK HERE LADIES!!
“You’re just bitter.” This is a phrase commonly used to silence women. Another variation says, “You are so unforgiving.”
The bitterness accusation is used to bully a woman and tell her how she “should” feel instead of asking her how she does feel. Someone who uses this label expects her to pretend there has been no harm, no foul. She is expected to pretend the one who hurt her is a great person, even if she knows he is a terrible person. If she does not pretend, it is because she is “bitter and unforgiving.”
Abusers nearly always sling this accusation at their victims. She may have accepted him back with open arms after a dozen violent episodes, but the first time she hesitates to “forgive and forget,” he will tell her she is a bitter and unforgiving person.
If only it stopped there. The world does not want to hear the voice of the abused, either. Let her speak of abuse in the divorce hearing, and the judge may roll his eyes. When he makes his ruling concerning child support and visitation, he will keep in mind that the woman is “bitter.”
Let her speak of it to the church, and they will label her a feminist – even if she firmly believes in male headship and supports all the patriarchal viewpoints.
The fact is, no one wants to hear it. In most circles, she can say, “My former husband was abusive,” and only be labeled a feminist. But if she ever says, “He backhanded me across the face when I disagreed with him, and he dragged me through the house by my hair” – now, she is “bitter.” Her words are interpreted as angry and violent, as if only a violent person could speak such awful words.
The message to abused women: Shut up about it. Go back to being ashamed, as if that hand across your face had left a nasty stain that made you evil rather than him. It is not dignified or proper to speak of the ugliness of abuse. It offends our sensibilities. By making us hear about your experience, you are violating our sheltered little world. We can forgive the man for hitting you, but we cannot forgive you for having the bad manners to actually talk about it.
Speaking the truth is not a sign of bitterness. It is a sign of wholeness and stark, unblinking courage. It takes guts to go beyond “He abused me” and say “He held a pillow over my face until I thought I was dying,” or even “He did things so unspeakable, I cannot make myself say them.”
Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A woman may know the truth without speaking it, and she may in silence escape her own situation. But a lone woman with sealed lips will not change the world. It is not only the woman who must be set free; society itself needs to be set free from a culture of violence against women.
We must speak the truth to our society, so that we can all be set free.
http://www.waragainstwomen.com/
The agenda is very clear at the Catbox and at Our Place and The Next Right Choice... it is NOBLE to suffer... don't get angry... don't seek to do anything about your abuse... just suffer... oh, you might seek out some counseling for you co-dependency issues... but other than that... just climb up and nail yourself to a cross... and hang there... give everything over to your abuser... give him the house... the business... the money... the cars... give him your self esteem... and RUN... oh yes... RUN... don't try to fight your abuse... even after you're out and safe... no... don't do that.... just RUN and preferably HIDE... forever... don't think about it...
hey... go get yourself on ANTIDEPRESSANTS... that's the CURE... make yourself so numb you no longer care... .and so, you've lost everything... so what?... a nice BUBBLEBATH is the answer to that!!!... PAMPER YOURSELF... so what you have nothing to pamper yourself with!!... just PRETEND to!!... hey... living in poverty is NOBLE... it makes you ever so much better than your abuser!!!.... and don't forget to FEEL SORRY for your abuser!... now that's really NOBLE... he's not a sick piece of twisted pathological heartless crap!!... NO!.... he's a poor pathetic shell of a man!!... although he never showed you any mercy or pity... he is deserving of it HIMSELF!!...
above all... DO NOT BE ANGRY... no... that's not productive... at least not productive to the agenda of the Catbox and Our Place... they NEED you to be suffering... so they can FEED off you... misery loves company... it's hard to devour someone who is ANGRY... just ask ANY abuser!!!!...that's why no information is ever disseminated on the Catbox or Our Place... they don't want women to become EMPOWERED with knowledge or information!!... or with motivating anger...
they want women to stay wounded and reeling... powerless and afraid... no one ever addresses the horrible behavior of the ABUSER... instead they spend their time psychobabbling about 'personal growth'... that's the whole problem, you know... it wasn't that he was simply a raving raging psychopath... no... it's your lack of 'personal growth' that is the problem... you just need to 'get over it'... 'forget about it'... 'get on with your life'... and do all of that while FEELING SORRY for your abuser...
total utter bullshit.............
Trubbles Catbox and Dr. Irene didn't just suddenly become abusive....they have ALWAYS been abusive....they had always pushed their agenda that women are to blame for their own abuse.....through the myth of co-dependency.....the 'administrative team' at the Catbox will henceforth be referred to as the woman hating Irene's flying monkeys.......her original lap monkeys gleefully dished out abuse to abused women for years before the blowup of 08.....they shamed, blamed, chastised, berated and abused anyone and everyone who did not follow the carefully drawn party line.......'YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR YOUR ABUSE'...they continually attacked dissenters......while turning a blind eye to abusive board members who aided and abetted them in pushing their agenda.......one of the top abusive psych cases on there was one who called herself DISCO.......when Irene went off her meds or off her rocker, or a combination of both in 08.....while she was merrily attacking the rank and file abuse victims on her forum........her flying monkeys joined in, lashing out with wild abandon.....and defended the wicked witch .....and continued to do so........until Irene turned her vitriol and rage on them, too.........ohhhhh.......then widdle flying monkey feelings got hurt........and when she threw them all out of 'her house' like yesterday's garbage......they flew over to invision power board.....and set up their own franchise........OUR PLACE....setting up some stiff competition for Irene in the abusive abuse forum realm......same abusive flying monkeys.......same abusive agenda.....new name........Our Place reads people's PM's too..they of course claim to be kinder and gentler.. but they're not.......they snoop into poster's messages to other posters.......just like they did at the Catbox.....they control and manipulate the posts and the posters....it is primarily comprised of old soldiers......some of the most prolific posters on there have been hacking away at abused women for years......they were once perhaps abused women themselves...but over the years they have become abusers.......chewing up and spitting out the 'newbies'......tender fresh meat.......yum yum.......and any 'newbie' is suspect........why, you might be a mole from the franchise across the street.....Trubbles Catbox!!.......anyone who wanders on there is scrutinized and investigated behind the scenes.........they trace your IP......they put tracking cookies on your computer..... the paranoia behind the masks they all wear is rampant.......add it all up and it spells........NARCISSIST.....they are all what they claim to be fighting against.....they are all sneaking, conniving, backstabbing, paranoid control freak narcissists......hell bent on further controlling women who are trying to break free of having been controlled........if you are an abused woman.........BEWARE..........check out other forums first.......there are lots of good ones out there.... www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com is a very good one...as is abusesanctuary.blogspot.com... which is maintained by another abuse victim who was driven off the Catbox and off another forum created by some Catobox alumni....The Next Right Choice....she was banned from both, for posting INFORMATION ....INFORMATION that might help some poor victim SURVIVE ..... they don't like real INFORMATION to be posted at the Catbox or at Our Place or at The Next Right Choice....articles...professional opinions....anything and everything that doesn't jibe with the "YOU'RE TO BLAME" and CODEPENDENCY crap they espouse is not welcome.....and they make that very clear to anyone posting it.............if you are an abused woman...you should avoid Trubbles Catbox....Our Place and The Next Right Choice..........or you'll likely come crawling out of all of them in worse shape than you went in........
