The Healing Power of Anger

(uh oh... look out biatches... a DOCTOR says anger is a GOOD THING!! Look out... TRUTH ALERT... go ram your head up your ass ASAP!!)

by Dr. John Rifkin

(excerpts)

The healing power of anger can transform you.

It is possible to change how anger affects ourselves and our loved ones. Happiness is not the absence of anger, but the intimate knowledge of how to make it work in your life.

An expert on teaching people about healing and anger, Dr. John Rifkin is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Boulder, Colorado who is breaking new ground in the understanding of anger. Dr. Rifkin explains that we should not and, indeed, cannot stop anger from happening.

Anger is a natural, healthy energy that has an emotional spectrum that ranges like a thermometer from ice cold to red hot.

Between ice-cold and red-hot extremes, anger has a normal and healthy range that empowers and fulfills your life, even if you don't understand that it's anger at work.
Anger is not just about yelling and screaming. The energy known as anger is always present in everyone.

Understanding anger and getting past the stereotypes and misconceptions!

"The Third Gift"

Almost everyone understands anger's power to be destructive. People say things in anger that hurt other people's feelings and even act out their anger violently, causing physical injury and pain.

What is not well understood is that anger is a valuable part of the human emotional experience. Anger is not some dysfunctional, testosterone-induced malfunction in the human design. It is there for a reason and it is extremely valuable. Your anger has the power to help you to heal the injuries both from your childhood as well as those that you experience in your daily life . Anger is the natural healing energy that the body generates in response to injury. Along with sadness and fear, it is a secondary emotion that occurs in response to the pain of injury.

Understand the full meaning of anger and the role it is meant to play in the development of your own personal power and healing... It will help you as you learn how to resolve conflicts in your intimate relationships.... and take back your self-esteem!

It also explains why I have come to believe that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the universal underlying diagnosis for all of us. I discuss the process of working to heal trauma, how to deal effectively with anxiety problems, and the relationship between anxiety and anger.

Wait!!... I'm not entitled to be angry right?... or have 'violent revenge fantasies...? nothing a good bubble bath or some cookies wouldn't solve right?

THE MOST EVIL AND LOATHSOME OF ABUSERS...THOSE WHO THREATEN, ABUSE AND MURDER PETS...THOSE BASTARDS DESERVE TO DIE!!!

THE PIECES OF WORTHLESS ABUSER SHIT WHO
THREATEN AND ABUSE AND MURDER PETS
DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!

this is a subject close to my heart...my abuser murdered one of my dogs...the love of my life....and daily threatened and abused my other pets...he threatened my daily with 'making them disappear'...he told me he would file false police reports (which he did)...get me arrested, (which he tried to failed to do) and sell them to research labs while i was 'locked up'....he kidnapped one and held him for ransom so he could go on a drinking and drugging spree...the theings he did to me we horrible enough..but the things he did to my pets are INEXCUSABLE...except of course on Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox..there i was chastised for my anger over him murdering my dog...there i was berated for hating him...for wanting him dead....not only was his abuse of me ignored and negated and glossed over....so was his abuse of pets he professed to love when it agrandized him...and cold bloodedly kidnapped and murdered, abandoned and neglected when that suited his agenda..they can forgive him...but i won't...... i want him that vile evil bastard dead... and he can't be dead soon enough or long enough or in a horrible enough manner to suit me... because the piece of filthy loathsome abusive SHIT murdered one my dogs..... and threatened and covertly abused the others... the threatening and abusing and mudering of pets... another MAJOR ASPECT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE that is NEVER ever mentioned on those VAPID, ASININE, INSIPID, POINTLESS FORUMS, Our Place, The Next Right Choice and Trubbles Catbox... i'm only surprised they didn't find a way to blame ME for HIM abusing my pets....i'm only surprised they didn't label my pets as CODEPENDENT!!!

another off limits topic... just ANOTHER form of abuse for them to minimize and ignore ...they have more compassion for an abuser than innocent animals!! ..... how many of their own abusers, who they defend and forgive, are guilty of this unspeakable , unforgiveable , undefendable, unconscionable crime???.. according to STATISTICS: PLENTY...

in surveys of domestic violence shelters........85% reported that victims talked about pet abuse, and reasearch shows that a whopping 73% of all women who reported domestic violence also reported that their abuser had either THREATENED/ HARMED/ OR MURDERED A PET....

LET'S GET REAL HERE... OF COURSE SOME PIECE OF SHIT WHO WOULD ABUSE A WOMAN WOULD HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT ABUSING A PET!!.. AND... THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INDUSTRY ITSELF HAS DONE ALMOST NOTHING TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE...

AND ARE THEY THEMSELVES ARE COMPLICIT IN THE CONTINUED OPPRESSION AND ABUSE OF WOMEN BY NOT MAKING PROVISIONS FOR AN EPIDEMIC SITUATION THAT THEY ARE WELL AWARE OF!

Unfortunately, many victims stay in abusive relationships because they don't know what to do with their pets. Many victims, up to 25%, report that concern for their pets had affected their decisions about leaving or staying with the batterer. Higher proportions of rural than urban women reported that their partners had threatened or harmed their pets and that concern for their pets had affected their decisions.

One way to further traumatize the human target of domestic violence is to injure or kill that person's beloved pet. When domestic violence erupts, family pets are often the first target because abusers understand and exploit the deep bond between pets and family members. Threatening the pet often causes the victim to stay for fear of what might happen to the animal if they leave. Studies have found that almost half of battered women delay their escape for that reason.

According to Wayne Pacelle, President and CEO of The Humane Society of the United States, "The bond between people and their pets is so powerful that people would rather stay in an abusive situation if it means protecting their animal. A pet is sometimes the only positive and unconditional relationship that a victim might have and that means they will do absolutely anything to keep them safe.

We want the law to recognize the deep significance of that relationship and acknowledge that for most people, a pet is part of the family and therefore a victim – and a pawn -- in the horrendous cycle of domestic violence."

To date, only three states -- Maine, New York and Vermont -- have enacted laws permitting family pets to be included in protective court orders involving cases of domestic violence. Such court orders are meant to shield animals as well as spouses and domestic partners from abusers

An additional 12 states: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, Rhode Island,Tennessee. Texas,Utah, Virginia, Washington, and the District of Columbia, have considered "pet protection" legislation.

Like many professionals working to protect victims of domestic violence, Jeanne Yeager, Executive Director of Mid-Shore Council on Family Violence in Maryland, supports adding pets to protection orders. "Such measures will provide much needed protection to clients with pets. Pet protection orders will offer victims of abuse an alternative to staying in abusive relationships for fear of what will happen to their pets if they leave."
~~~~~

THE UGLY FACTS:

Seven of every 10 families with minor children include a pet -- more than 64 million households in total.

Research shows that pet abuse is a predictor of domestic violence. Paying attention to pet abuse can save human lives.

Studies show that up to 73% of battered women report their pet was threatened, harmed, or killed by their partners.

A national survey found that 85% of women's shelters indicated that women seeking safety described incidents of pet abuse in their families.

Batterers threaten, abuse, or kill animals to demonstrate and confirm power and control over the family, to isolate the victim and children, and to prevent the victim from leaving or coerce her to return.

Domestic violence shelters and animal protection organizations have ONLY RECENTLY begun partnering to develop "safe havens" for pets of domestic violence victims because many victims delay leaving out of fear for their pets' safety. All too often, batterers punish victims for leaving by killing their pet. Yet, with the help of over 100 safe haven programs currently operating today in the U.S., many victims no longer have to choose between their safety and their pets.\




VICTIMS STILL DO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEIR SAFETY AND THEIR PETS...

i can speak from experience here... i lived in TERROR of my psychopath abuser... because of his constant threats against my pets... i had nowhere to take them... so i stayed... to provide them with a home... to try to keep them safe.....

the disinterested, bored, enabling police refused to arrest him after he tried to murder me... then left him to do as he pleased... and he did... there was no one to protect me... and no one to protect BEN... he murdered the love of my life... a helpless 15 year old dog... who had survived liver cancer, but could not survive an attack by a maniac... he smothered BEN to death in his own bed... on VALENTINES DAY...

this piece of shit doesn't need to see a go into treatment...he needs to go six feet underground.... this bastard doesn't need to be taken to jail... he needs to be taken to the gallows... this pyschopathic monster cannot be REFORMED... except into COMPOST.....

ignoring pet abuse and murder at Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox....par for the course...i've seen them post about feeling sorry for men who murder their wives and familes!!...compassion for killers...... while they ignored and minimized my abuse, and the abuse my pets suffered at the hands of that monster......and then there is Tallulah...who knowing what my psychpath abuser had done to me and my pets...upon seeing a photo of him...managed to find him 'attractive' and 'easy on the eyes'!!!!!.doesn't get any more caring and kind and compassionate than that..... and extended to the ABUSER, as usual..

they continue to makes excuses for piece of shit just like him... they take responsibility for the actions of pieces of sub human garbage... they forgive... they forget... they who told me to 'get over it'..... who told me i am wrong to DESPISE that PSYCHOPATH....wrong to be angry..... wrong to seek REVENGE... they who told me: LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE...

i wouldn't know whether living well is the best revenge... because i am not living well... the PSYCHOPATH did so much physical and emotional damage to me that i am UNABLE to work and LIVING IN POVERTY... and BEN... he won't know if living well is the best revenge, because BEN IS NO LONGER ALIVE... THANKS TO A PIECE OF ABUSIVE PSYCHOPATHIC SHIT... WHO DESERVES TO DIE...

BEN 2/14/2007

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
Chaim Herzog

_____________________________________

Michael (Mike) McGrannahan

Kansas City Missouri

DOG MURDERER, ABUSER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT

PSYCHOPATH

COCKROACH

UNFORGOTTEN

UNFORGIVEN

UNFIT TO LIVE!!!

Do the Admins Even Read Their Own B.S.?

What do I do if I think I'm being abused?

Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.

http://www.our-place-online.net/abuseinfo.html


Wait a sec... let's look at this one... line by line

Educate yourself. But toss off the forums people who merely post information... heaven forbid anyone think for themselves... embrace rigorous truth or figure something out that we don't spoon feed them...

Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. See above.

We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. And we pilfered those resources from other sources, and don't you dare have better resources or stuff than us admins!!!

Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Don't confront us admins or Dr. Irene as only we get to decide how you should feel and how you should heal... or heel...

Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And we get to judge if your coping techniques are appropriate... don't stand up to the abuser... lie down... be codependent... blame yourself... feel sorry for your abuser... and most of all... BABY STEPS...

And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.
Unless it's us doing the mistreating, misinterpreting or avoiding the truth... then we blame you for having being honest, bad mouth you... call you an angry stalker or tell you you're wallowing, berate you and throw you off our precious forum... Our abuse IS your fault.

smell the hypocrisy anyone?

BABY STEPS???!!....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!

OMG!!.. when i first ventured into the world or forums for abused women... every other post was about baby steps!!!... 'take baby steps'... 'remember... baby steps... take baby steps'

i was stunned... but i quickly surmised that the rank and file on the catbox, and our place and the next right choice were whining, hand-wringing babies... so i guess the baby steps thing was to be expected...

but then... when i ventured into online therapy... dished up by a licensed therapist, for pete's sake... i heard the same thing... 'just take baby steps'...

uh... let's get real here... first off... we're not babies... and secondly... have you ever actually watched a baby taking 'baby steps'???... it's not pretty... one step forward... four steps back... they fall down a lot too... and sometimes they can't get up!!! baby steps don't get you anywhere!!! ask any real baby!!! a baby can take ten thousand steps, without ever escaping the imprisonment of her playpen!!.

let's can the 'baby steps' bullshit, ok?... it's insulting... and it's asinine...

You're Just Bitter

The bitches on Our Place and Next Bogus Choice called members like me BITTER... Bitter? LOL!

CLICK HERE LADIES!!

“You’re just bitter.” This is a phrase commonly used to silence women. Another variation says, “You are so unforgiving.”

The bitterness accusation is used to bully a woman and tell her how she “should” feel instead of asking her how she does feel. Someone who uses this label expects her to pretend there has been no harm, no foul. She is expected to pretend the one who hurt her is a great person, even if she knows he is a terrible person. If she does not pretend, it is because she is “bitter and unforgiving.”

Abusers nearly always sling this accusation at their victims. She may have accepted him back with open arms after a dozen violent episodes, but the first time she hesitates to “forgive and forget,” he will tell her she is a bitter and unforgiving person.

If only it stopped there. The world does not want to hear the voice of the abused, either. Let her speak of abuse in the divorce hearing, and the judge may roll his eyes. When he makes his ruling concerning child support and visitation, he will keep in mind that the woman is “bitter.”

Let her speak of it to the church, and they will label her a feminist – even if she firmly believes in male headship and supports all the patriarchal viewpoints.

The fact is, no one wants to hear it. In most circles, she can say, “My former husband was abusive,” and only be labeled a feminist. But if she ever says, “He backhanded me across the face when I disagreed with him, and he dragged me through the house by my hair” – now, she is “bitter.” Her words are interpreted as angry and violent, as if only a violent person could speak such awful words.

The message to abused women: Shut up about it. Go back to being ashamed, as if that hand across your face had left a nasty stain that made you evil rather than him. It is not dignified or proper to speak of the ugliness of abuse. It offends our sensibilities. By making us hear about your experience, you are violating our sheltered little world. We can forgive the man for hitting you, but we cannot forgive you for having the bad manners to actually talk about it.

Speaking the truth is not a sign of bitterness. It is a sign of wholeness and stark, unblinking courage. It takes guts to go beyond “He abused me” and say “He held a pillow over my face until I thought I was dying,” or even “He did things so unspeakable, I cannot make myself say them.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A woman may know the truth without speaking it, and she may in silence escape her own situation. But a lone woman with sealed lips will not change the world. It is not only the woman who must be set free; society itself needs to be set free from a culture of violence against women.

We must speak the truth to our society, so that we can all be set free.

http://www.waragainstwomen.com/