THAT BRANCH UP YOUR ASS ISN'T ATTRACTIVE

That Branch Up Your Ass - It Isn't Attractive

by Korin Mumford

I recently had the misfortune of being exposed to another one of those puke-inducing sentimentality emails - you know, the kind that go on and on about how a Twue Fwiend (tm) will do X, Y, and Z for you, and aren't you glad you said you loved your mother today? This one, however, was a pathetic attempt to salve the egos of a certain type of girl and at the same time reinforce the idea that she's incomplete on her own and must just wait for the man to come along, while continuing to create the ideal of women as prizes for men to compete over.

"Tree of Life"

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Vomit-inducing crap. So I turned around and sent it back to the sender, along with a list of questions.

So, are you assuming you're one of the apples at the top of the tree or at the bottom?

If you're assuming you're one of the ones at the top...why? What makes you that special?

What criteria does it take for a woman to be considered one of the "rotten apples from the ground"?

Why don't you think you fit that description?

What, exactly, is this email supposed to do?

Okay, so it's a sad try at soothing the bruised egos of girls who can't get a boyfriend, right?

Have you ever wondered WHY those girls can't get a boyfriend?

Have you ever wondered why they're all so desperate to get one, anyway?

What's wrong with being happy with yourself as a whole, individual, independent person?

Why must you base your sense of self-worth on whether or not you have boys after you? You see, if you had your own inherent sense of self-worth and self-esteem, you wouldn't start to wonder "what's wrong with me?" when you're single.

Furthermore, if you're so desperate to be part of an "us" instead of just being an "I", why the hell are you sitting at the top of your tree with a branch up your ass, waiting?

Oddly enough, I haven't heard from her since. I wonder why that is..

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/treeoflife.shtml

A NEWLY DISCOVERED DISORDER THAT IS EPIDEMIC AT OUR PLACE AND THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE AND NOW HAS SPREAD TO VAIN ENCOUNTERS

WOW... i am sooooo sorry!!... here i was, thinking the Administrators and Sycophant Sorority sisters (a.k.a. the sooper sekrit forum members) at Our Place Vain Encounters and the Next Right Choice and now at ALL ABOUT HIM were just brainless, overmedicated, sanctimonious, vapid morons!!...

Nope... looks like you're all suffering from a DISORDER... you've all got L.O.A.D!!.. and from looking through the symptoms checklist.... looks like you're all terminal... no cure... no treatment... i'm certain you'll take it with a smile, stay upbeat, and find something good in having this disorder...

i hope you'll all be able to offer each other comfort and support... and multiple (((cyberhugs)))

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What is L.O.A.D.?

Well, it is described by many of the family members as a frightening altered state much like the hypnotic trance or brainwashed state of cult members. It tends to strike the upper classes just as much, if not more than any other class, the highly educated, and more sophisticated members of society, which is what makes it so worrisome to the family members of those afflicted. Unfortunately, it affects many others as well, including those wishing to belong to the upper classes, those attempting to appear to belong, and even some who don't care about their social class at all.

As you can see, it affects a very broad spectrum of people which is ringing alarm bells for some scientists who believe the focus of genetic research funding should be shifted in this direction. as THE priority before it reaches pandemic proportions.

The Characteristics of The Disease
Checklist:If you observe five or more of these signs in a particular subject, it should be an indication that L.O.A.D. may be present and just out of the incubation stage of the disease making it still manageable with immediate treatment.

If the subject is presenting any of the following, he or she should be detained for further assessment.

______________________________________________

1. A tendency towards an arrogant certainty about an understanding of the lives and feelings of others, especially complete strangers.

2. Disdain for others not included in the LOAD sufferers' group/family or organization.

3. A need to believe he or she has total control of other people and situations

4. Denial of any evidence which puts the beliefs of the sufferer in question.

5. A tendency to regress easily to the level of flocks, herds or pack animals.

6. A display of territorial thinking or behaviour.

7. A tendency to attempt to "hide" an obvious truth or evidence in order to defend

an untenable position or the current social status quo, even when doing so harms everyone.

8. An apparent inability to hear doublethink or doublespeak, even when it is coming out of the sufferer's own mouth.

9. A belief that he or she is somehow magically ''hidden'' and cannot be seen or heard, even though ten feet (three meters) or less separates him or her from the "other" from whom he or she is supposedly ''hiding.''

10. A belief that his/her personal concrete experience in life represents an abstract truth that can be applied to all others universally and any disagreement from any of those others should be invalidated immediately.

11. A tendency to label others in order to create a closed system of containment designed to keep the fears and anxiety of the LOAD sufferer at bay.

12. A refusal to communicate directly and honestly and an exhibited preference for talking about, or sometimes AT, anyone who disagrees with his/her judgements.

13. A tendency to enlist the aid of others (usually covertly) in order to force those disagree to accept his/her version of "reality" by means of the application of group pressure.

14. An automatic, well entrenched, invalidating response to any argument or suggestion that the LOAD sufferer could ever be wrong about anything.

15. Speaks and thinks in absolute abstract terms, avoiding concrete details.

16. A tendency to contract the anal muscles in an unnatural manner.

17. Operates from behind a haughty, superior or rigid facade.

18. Often social climbs in order to validate delusions about superior understanding or worth as a human being.

19. Inappropriate affects:
Particularly predominant is flat affect. (no emotional response at all to anything) eg: You tell them you have been assaulted by Uncle Bob, or even that something positive happened to you and they "humour" you, wearing a mask like face, "Oh really. How interesting." He or she may even make a side remark to a friend in your presence such as, "the poor thing."

20. Inappropriate Laughter or Smiling:
eg: You are being harassed by a contemptuous group of people on a subway or other public transportation and the onlookers decide to join in the "fun." You dare to react with anger and complain about being abused by others without reason and the LOAD sufferers among them smile or smirk, their little insane eyeballs twinkling with high amusement about your complaint of their behaviour.

Disdain or contempt:
You keep trying to tell your psychiatrist (who really has no time to listen to your nonsense)your therapist, your friends, or your relatives the truth about what happened to you and are treated with more and more contempt for refusing to "let it go" and stop trying to be heard.

Mocking and Ridiculing:
Especially when presented along with symptom 5.

21. Unrealistic fantastic view of "authority" figures. Eg: Parents never lie, teachers aren't abusive, doctors can't be wrong, bosses aren't ever jerks, landlords don't break laws and religious leaders can't have hidden agendas.

22. LOAD sufferers will often go to any lengths to reduce the awareness of others as a reaction to feeling threatened with self awareness, or of experiencing an unwanted increase in their own awareness. There is an unrealistic ongoing expectation that others will deny their own experience and feelings if the LOAD sufferer simply pretends it is not "real." The expectation appears to be that the invalidate other will adapt him/herself to embrace the LOAD sufferer's delusional belief system.

23. In times of distress, LOAD sufferers tend to close ranks and seek reinforcement in their trance-like brainwashed state from other sufferers who are more than wiling to support their beliefs, needs and Dis-ease.

_______________________________________________

As you can see, this is an extremely difficult disorder to treat as the defense mechanisms of the acute sufferer are so well entrenched it is nearly impossible to to locate a chink in his or her psychological armour. All we can really do is keep trying and continue to expose the pathology of this terrible disorder to the world at large in the hope that public awareness will promote the change and encourage offerings of research funding which will allow us to search for a cure. We all need to break the silence in order to generate the interest that will help us move towards a cure for these poor unfortunate self-deluded people.

With scientists funded to do the research necessary to find a treatment, it is hoped they will be able to find a way to unblock the receptors in the brain which are preventing truth from traveling freely along the neural pathways of the LOAD sufferer.

Once developed, hospitals will be able to put out a public call for volunteers who suffer from the effects of receiving too little information, in order to test their new atypical unblockers. This will be under carefully controlled conditions so that the rate of truth allowed into the subjects' brains can be slowed to a safe level. They don't want the LOAD sufferers to go into shock without any medical supervision. (as we all know, psychiatrists prefer to have super-vision at all times. In this I find myself in agreement with them. I also would prefer psychiatrists to have much more supervision.)

It should be noted that many LOAD sufferers often have a dual diagnosis. Many have been previously diagnosed with A.P.D. (Arrogant Personality Disorder) In such advanced cases, prognosis tends to be rather poor and the disease may only be managed to the terminal stage, which occurs often as a result of toxicity from permanent anal stricture. Though not all LOAD sufferers die of their Diseases, in extreme cases, carrying this kind of LOAD for too long can be terminal.

By P. Lefave, D.D.(P)

Do the Admins Even Read Their Own B.S.?

What do I do if I think I'm being abused?

Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.

http://www.our-place-online.net/abuseinfo.html


Wait a sec... let's look at this one... line by line

Educate yourself. But toss off the forums people who merely post information... heaven forbid anyone think for themselves... embrace rigorous truth or figure something out that we don't spoon feed them...

Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. See above.

We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. And we pilfered those resources from other sources, and don't you dare have better resources or stuff than us admins!!!

Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Don't confront us admins or Dr. Irene as only we get to decide how you should feel and how you should heal... or heel...

Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And we get to judge if your coping techniques are appropriate... don't stand up to the abuser... lie down... be codependent... blame yourself... feel sorry for your abuser... and most of all... BABY STEPS...

And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.
Unless it's us doing the mistreating, misinterpreting or avoiding the truth... then we blame you for having being honest, bad mouth you... call you an angry stalker or tell you you're wallowing, berate you and throw you off our precious forum... Our abuse IS your fault.

smell the hypocrisy anyone?

BABY STEPS???!!....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!

OMG!!.. when i first ventured into the world or forums for abused women... every other post was about baby steps!!!... 'take baby steps'... 'remember... baby steps... take baby steps'

i was stunned... but i quickly surmised that the rank and file on the catbox, and our place and the next right choice were whining, hand-wringing babies... so i guess the baby steps thing was to be expected...

but then... when i ventured into online therapy... dished up by a licensed therapist, for pete's sake... i heard the same thing... 'just take baby steps'...

uh... let's get real here... first off... we're not babies... and secondly... have you ever actually watched a baby taking 'baby steps'???... it's not pretty... one step forward... four steps back... they fall down a lot too... and sometimes they can't get up!!! baby steps don't get you anywhere!!! ask any real baby!!! a baby can take ten thousand steps, without ever escaping the imprisonment of her playpen!!.

let's can the 'baby steps' bullshit, ok?... it's insulting... and it's asinine...

You're Just Bitter

The bitches on Our Place and Next Bogus Choice called members like me BITTER... Bitter? LOL!

CLICK HERE LADIES!!

“You’re just bitter.” This is a phrase commonly used to silence women. Another variation says, “You are so unforgiving.”

The bitterness accusation is used to bully a woman and tell her how she “should” feel instead of asking her how she does feel. Someone who uses this label expects her to pretend there has been no harm, no foul. She is expected to pretend the one who hurt her is a great person, even if she knows he is a terrible person. If she does not pretend, it is because she is “bitter and unforgiving.”

Abusers nearly always sling this accusation at their victims. She may have accepted him back with open arms after a dozen violent episodes, but the first time she hesitates to “forgive and forget,” he will tell her she is a bitter and unforgiving person.

If only it stopped there. The world does not want to hear the voice of the abused, either. Let her speak of abuse in the divorce hearing, and the judge may roll his eyes. When he makes his ruling concerning child support and visitation, he will keep in mind that the woman is “bitter.”

Let her speak of it to the church, and they will label her a feminist – even if she firmly believes in male headship and supports all the patriarchal viewpoints.

The fact is, no one wants to hear it. In most circles, she can say, “My former husband was abusive,” and only be labeled a feminist. But if she ever says, “He backhanded me across the face when I disagreed with him, and he dragged me through the house by my hair” – now, she is “bitter.” Her words are interpreted as angry and violent, as if only a violent person could speak such awful words.

The message to abused women: Shut up about it. Go back to being ashamed, as if that hand across your face had left a nasty stain that made you evil rather than him. It is not dignified or proper to speak of the ugliness of abuse. It offends our sensibilities. By making us hear about your experience, you are violating our sheltered little world. We can forgive the man for hitting you, but we cannot forgive you for having the bad manners to actually talk about it.

Speaking the truth is not a sign of bitterness. It is a sign of wholeness and stark, unblinking courage. It takes guts to go beyond “He abused me” and say “He held a pillow over my face until I thought I was dying,” or even “He did things so unspeakable, I cannot make myself say them.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A woman may know the truth without speaking it, and she may in silence escape her own situation. But a lone woman with sealed lips will not change the world. It is not only the woman who must be set free; society itself needs to be set free from a culture of violence against women.

We must speak the truth to our society, so that we can all be set free.

http://www.waragainstwomen.com/

Singing the praises of DOORMATS

every house needs a doormat, right?.....sure....i'm not opposed to doormats.....as long as they're made of rubber...or jute....or astroturf......but i do draw the line when doormats are made of flesh and blood.......being a doormat is nothing to aspire to.....let alone something to sing the praises of......i have been on several abuse forums...still am on some GOOD ones.....and i've been booted from three very very very bad ones....three that sing the praises of doormats......

i was booted off THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE..because i refused to embrace the belief that the next right choice was to be a doormat...or to be proud of being a doormat...a close friend and i were posting back and forth to each other.....i was offering her sympathy as to her physical limitations, which were greatly interfering with her emotional healing from her years with a psychopath.....we were discussing how some things cannot be overcome.no matter how many positive affirmations you chant..or how much HOPE you cling to....uh oh.....the magic word. HOPE....in more ways than one!!....

immediately an admin there jumped in.. first attacking my DISABLED friend for 'WALLOWING'...... my friend then dared to post this nugget of 100% truth.. they can't take full strength truth over there at THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE:

"Some things do not heal.
PTSD from a psychopath for instance.
You cope, you adapt but its always there - always.
And Hope is just a word"

UH OH!!.....the admin then posted this piece of smarm:

'No matter what has happened in your life, no matter what you struggle with, you still make choices. Your choice may be simply to take one more opportunity to vent bitter anger, or it may be to realize that one person out there can benefit from compassion, and yes, from hope.

No matter what happens, we can choose to care. We can choose to be kind. We can choose to help one another. We can choose to contribute something positive. Is this denial? I don't think so.

I'll take the example of my mother, a woman abused and molested by her father, forced to drop out of school because of extreme poverty, raped and forced to marry the rapist who got her pregnant, lied about and legally stripped of her parental rights while her abusive rapist husband stole her two little girls, forced to live without them in her life, suffering with serious health problems as a result, and YET...

She was perhaps the kindest, the most loving, gentle, bright and sunny compassionate person I've ever known. She chose to love in spite of everything and anything.

IT WAS A CHOICE. She became her choices, and it made her beautiful.'

WHAT A CROCK!!... they're very big on pretend CHOICES over there....so..her mother was a HAPPY DOORMAT... SUNNY in the face of abuse..... her CHOICE was to be a HAPPY doormat, instead of to not be a doormat at all?...... i would hardly call THAT a right choice!!... yeah....i've seen smiley faces on doormats...with the dirty footprints of a psychopath all over them......and this apparently is something everyone should CHOSE to aspire to......to be a happy smiley faced doormat.....lest we become BITTER.......geez.........

i'm not sure what has caused the twisted thought process in some women that i call 'happy doormat syndrome'.... was it june cleaver and donna reed and harriet nelson....pushing the hoover in their high heels and pearls?....with a perpetual corpse's grin plastered to their faces........

are those high heel wearing american geishas to blame?.......

whatever has caused it.... it needs to STOP....there is no glory in being a doormat... ask any doormat!!....it's a dirty thankless job......
and whether you are a doormat with a SMILEY FACE or not.... the result is the same.......people drag their shit covered shoes across you....

Dr. Irene's Pattern of Abuse

from RickRoss.com:

I knew Dr. Irene, first as a patient and later as one of the administrators to her site. At one point, I was invited to her house for dinner with her husband and other admins from the site.

What was amazing was how quickly and sharply she turned against me when I merely defended one former admin.

Dr. Irene said she hacked into the site, but clearly she didn't. It is a long story why I know the admin didn't hack in the site. More important, her reaction to my defending the other admin was to ban me from the site. When I confronted her in email, she first didn't remember me, then she went in the whole victim routine how everyone is against her, never dealing with the facts of whether or not the admin hacked into her site.

This was important to me because the person accused is the nicest person in the world. She was working six hours a day for at least three years on the site. I really believe that Dr. Irene accused her of something wrong and then publicly posted it on the site to reduce the sympathy factor for how she treated this woman.

This has been a pattern for Dr. Irene. She finds people, she praises them, then she dumps them. She did it with the original webmaster. Then she did it again recently.

Dr. Irene did help me with a controlling abusive relationship. I don't think she is a charlatan or a quack as she was well grounded in effective cognitive techniques. She also can be warm, generous, and charming.

Until she is threatened. Then she can cut you off so quick.. which I could respect if she was honest about it.

However, she acts flippy and weird and plays dumb and doesn't remember people she's worked with for six years and acts like a victim when she started it all.

She just goes loopy in a very manipulative way, if that makes any sense.

Read the rest of this thread! Click Here!

More:
http://thecatboximplosion.blogspot.com/

Silencing the Lambs

The agenda is very clear at the Catbox and at Our Place and The Next Right Choice... it is NOBLE to suffer... don't get angry... don't seek to do anything about your abuse... just suffer... oh, you might seek out some counseling for you co-dependency issues... but other than that... just climb up and nail yourself to a cross... and hang there... give everything over to your abuser... give him the house... the business... the money... the cars... give him your self esteem... and RUN... oh yes... RUN... don't try to fight your abuse... even after you're out and safe... no... don't do that.... just RUN and preferably HIDE... forever... don't think about it...

hey... go get yourself on ANTIDEPRESSANTS... that's the CURE... make yourself so numb you no longer care... .and so, you've lost everything... so what?... a nice BUBBLEBATH is the answer to that!!!... PAMPER YOURSELF... so what you have nothing to pamper yourself with!!... just PRETEND to!!... hey... living in poverty is NOBLE... it makes you ever so much better than your abuser!!!.... and don't forget to FEEL SORRY for your abuser!... now that's really NOBLE... he's not a sick piece of twisted pathological heartless crap!!... NO!.... he's a poor pathetic shell of a man!!... although he never showed you any mercy or pity... he is deserving of it HIMSELF!!...

above all... DO NOT BE ANGRY... no... that's not productive... at least not productive to the agenda of the Catbox and Our Place... they NEED you to be suffering... so they can FEED off you... misery loves company... it's hard to devour someone who is ANGRY... just ask ANY abuser!!!!...

that's why no information is ever disseminated on the Catbox or Our Place... they don't want women to become EMPOWERED with knowledge or information!!... or with motivating anger...

they want women to stay wounded and reeling... powerless and afraid... no one ever addresses the horrible behavior of the ABUSER... instead they spend their time psychobabbling about 'personal growth'... that's the whole problem, you know... it wasn't that he was simply a raving raging psychopath... no... it's your lack of 'personal growth' that is the problem... you just need to 'get over it'... 'forget about it'... 'get on with your life'... and do all of that while FEELING SORRY for your abuser...

total utter bullshit.............

Trubbles Catbox is just the tip of the iceberg

Trubbles Catbox and Dr. Irene didn't just suddenly become abusive....they have ALWAYS been abusive....they had always pushed their agenda that women are to blame for their own abuse.....through the myth of co-dependency.....the 'administrative team' at the Catbox will henceforth be referred to as the woman hating Irene's flying monkeys.......
her original lap monkeys gleefully dished out abuse to abused women for years before the blowup of 08.....they shamed, blamed, chastised, berated and abused anyone and everyone who did not follow the carefully drawn party line.......'YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR YOUR ABUSE'...they continually attacked dissenters......while turning a blind eye to abusive board members who aided and abetted them in pushing their agenda.......one of the top abusive psych cases on there was one who called herself DISCO.......when Irene went off her meds or off her rocker, or a combination of both in 08.....while she was merrily attacking the rank and file abuse victims on her forum........her flying monkeys joined in, lashing out with wild abandon.....and defended the wicked witch .....and continued to do so........until Irene turned her vitriol and rage on them, too.........ohhhhh.......then widdle flying monkey feelings got hurt........and when she threw them all out of 'her house' like yesterday's garbage......they flew over to invision power board.....and set up their own franchise........OUR PLACE....setting up some stiff competition for Irene in the abusive abuse forum realm......same abusive flying monkeys.......same abusive agenda.....new name........Our Place reads people's PM's too..they of course claim to be kinder and gentler.. but they're not.......they snoop into poster's messages to other posters.......just like they did at the Catbox.....they control and manipulate the posts and the posters....it is primarily comprised of old soldiers......some of the most prolific posters on there have been hacking away at abused women for years......they were once perhaps abused women themselves...but over the years they have become abusers.......chewing up and spitting out the 'newbies'......tender fresh meat.......yum yum.......
and any 'newbie' is suspect........why, you might be a mole from the franchise across the street.....Trubbles Catbox!!.......anyone who wanders on there is scrutinized and investigated behind the scenes.........they trace your IP......they put tracking cookies on your computer..... the paranoia behind the masks they all wear is rampant.......
add it all up and it spells........NARCISSIST.....they are all what they claim to be fighting against.....they are all sneaking, conniving, backstabbing, paranoid control freak narcissists......hell bent on further controlling women who are trying to break free of having been controlled........if you are an abused woman.........BEWARE..........check out other forums first.......there are lots of good ones out there.... www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com is a very good one...as is abusesanctuary.blogspot.com... which is maintained by another abuse victim who was driven off the Catbox and off another forum created by some Catobox alumni....The Next Right Choice....she was banned from both, for posting INFORMATION ....INFORMATION that might help some poor victim SURVIVE ..... they don't like real INFORMATION to be posted at the Catbox or at Our Place or at The Next Right Choice....articles...professional opinions....anything and everything that doesn't jibe with the "YOU'RE TO BLAME" and CODEPENDENCY crap they espouse is not welcome.....and they make that very clear to anyone posting it.............if you are an abused woman...you should avoid Trubbles Catbox....Our Place and The Next Right Choice..........or you'll likely come crawling out of all of them in worse shape than you went in........