MUZZLING THE ABUSIVE WOMEN OF OUR PLACE

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere.” – Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel.

~~~~

I've been monitoring ie interfering at Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox... .and i notice that the abusive spews have dropped off considerably... as has new membership... i'm sure they're very upset with me.....how DARE i, yada yada yada...i believe a better question would be....how DARE THEY sucker in abuse victims....and start abusing them, controlling them and forcing them to drink their SNAKE OIL??!!.....hey, if some of those bitches want to take the credit for thier own abuse, want to take repsonsibility for some piece of lowlife shit who would abuse a ROCK if nothing else was available.....and flagellate themselves incessantly over their participation in their abusive situations...then i'm not opposed to it.....in some of their cases i'm actually all in IN FAVOR OF IT....but i do oppose them projecting and forcing THEIR BULLSHIT onto ME!!!....and onto other innocent women who stumble into those little nests of vipers.....

~

on Our Place there have been no attacks launched on the NEW VICTIM of an abuser since Lily's charming 'boil her in oil' comment made the front page of my blog....that topic...http://forums.our-place-online.net/index.php?showtopic=4379 has since been removed!!...no doubt for the safety of the posters!!..ie.......to cover the abusive tracks of the abusive bitches!!...abusive posts being removed!!...looks like they're taking my crackpot blog seriously enough to remove some of their own abusive posts!!!....this is VERY GOOD NEWS....the bad news is, bitches... in the future i will include SCREEN SHOTS of your spews, to prevent the rewriting of history...... :)

~

and Tallulah has been driven to post her attacks on me at an obscure blog maintained by someone who herself was so abusive she was banned from the Catbox administrative team after Irene caught her and Moongoddess attacking members in not-so-private emails...

these are little victories... they've had to tone down their abuse... they've been driven into dark corners, or into their secret forum... where at least no one can see their hateful abusive diatribes...

~

their new membership has gone down to a trickle... and that trickle is likely pure fabrication... they've been known to invent new members........

~

how's it feel, LADIES???... for years you attacked abused women... openly and willfully... while CENSORING them... controlling their ability to defend themselves from your attacks... how does it feel to have to watch what you say???... .WALK ON EGGSHELLS??? ...

~

how's it feel to be MUZZLED??.. how do you like finding out that although you could slander me on your own nasty little abusive forums... and still try to attack and discredit me anywhere you can, in any way you can... out here in the DAYLIGHT, away from your little pack of Jackals... people are seeing how abusive YOU are????.

~

abusers don't stop abusing... i can only wonder who you'll turn it on now... the HOMELESS?... BEGGARS ??... will you start TAUNTING street people for not 'trying hard enough'???... you probably already do, when you think no one is watching... .frankly, my dears,....i suggest cannibalism....it's always the next right choice!! :)

~

i'll be watching you on those forums... every single day... .and anytime i see you treating other people the way you treated me and others... i'm going to post it here... and attack you for it... just like you attacked ME.. for being sad... for being angry... for missing my home... for refusing to take the blame for my abuse. for refusing to feel SORRY for the bastard who murdered my dog..for refusing to reduce myself to magical thinking...for refusing to be a coward..... for refusing to be further abused by a bunch of hateful bitches who aren't much better than the psychopath himself..

~~

i haven't been able to SHUT YOU DOWN, yet, but it does look like i've been able to SHUT SOME OF YOU UP........and i'm going to stay right here....and i'm going to keep doing it.....one of you sanctimonious bitches asked me how i, as an abuse survivor intend to help other abuse victims........well, this is HOW, bitches....by unmasking ONE LYING MANIPULATING ABUSIVE NARCISSISTIC FAUX ABUSE VICTIM AT A TIME.......you never liked me on those forums because i wouldn't just shut up take your abuse and drink your venom laced kool aid.......so.....HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW????

UPDATE!!

~~~

LOOK!! a new and improved Tallulah!!! this is from Our Place yesterday....

Welcome, Buckeye!Narcissistic/Borderline Personality Disorders are really NOT treatable. They can't change. They're sociopaths. Read everything you can find on these disorders. Trust me on this. You can feel sorry for him but do it at a distance. A GREAT distance. Tallulah

~

wow...great advice....NARCISSISTIC/BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS aren't treatable!!...they can't change!!....finally....speaking from her OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.....as a NARC!!...what a miraculous turnaround from the venom she was spewing at me just the day before!!!....

~

and in the same post Lily was quoting the Bible instead of looking for flammable liquids and a lighter!!.....

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!!!....TOTALLY FAKE...but an improvement nonetheless......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEN - killed on 2/14/2007

MURDERED BY MY PSYCHOPATH HUSBAND

smothered to death in his own bed

i will not forgive and i will not forget

i love you BEN

justice will be served

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.
The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
- Chaim Herzog

"BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS"... RIGHT, TALLULAH?

i've said before how i just LOVE to quote members of Our Place, The Next RightChoice , and the Catbox... because it makes it very hard for them to deny how nasty and abusive they REALLY are...

~

Tallulah...aready named here as a charter member of the PIRAHNA'S CLUB... a woman who is so desperate for a man that she finds a dog murdering predator 'attractive'..(see DOG MURDERING predator below)..however, it's becoming more clear all the time how much she and the narcissistic, self absorbed, selfish, withholding piece of shit PSYCHOPATH actually have in common....Tallulah is a turbo charged, misanthropic, rocket fueled, huge, throbbing AYN RANDORRHOID!!...who considers herself a SUPERIOR BEING...well, Tallulah, you're a SUPERIOR HYPOCRITE, and a SUPERIOR BITCH...wonder how all those abused women you consider to be BENEATH YOU are going to like you NOW! ..now that they know what you REALLY think of them and their PROBLEMS...now that they'll know how you BEGRUDGE them any help they receive!!!

~

Tallulah has recently shown a little more of her true self... she is a longtime member of The Next Right Choice... a vapid little online tea party for back-stabbing bitches thinly disguised as a 'forum for living well'... the premise of that pile of bullshit they espouse is 'choices'... everyone has 'choices'... lots and lots and lots of 'choices'... everything that happens to a victim of abuse is by 'choice'... they 'choose' how they react to abuse... they 'choose' whether to forgive and forget and get back to the business of 'living well'... that said, you're about to see what a total hypocrite Tallulah is...

~

i have been posting on a little blog set up by a disgruntled banned administrator of the Catbox... i won't provide a link or give the name of the blog, as it would just feed another Ayn RANDORRHOID vampire....... Tallulah, always looking for a pot of shit to stir, quickly appeared there... calling herself Mata Hari! ... Mata Hari... a double agent... spy... prostitute... interesting CHOICE of names...

~

i was posting about poverty and homelessness in the United States... how shameful it is... how widespread it is... and how ignored it is...

i was also saying, that as a VICTIM OF ABUSE... that because i am now in poverty, as are so MANY victims of domestic violence... and that because i have no health insurance... that i have no access to any decent therapy for my complex PTSD... or, as a single woman, access to any sort of medical care at all... or any government aid, except for food stamps.... this is what that kind, caring , alleged victim of domestic abuse,Tallulah, had to say...

Re: nothing to do but let them go
mata_hari41
2009-12-30 02:11 pm (UTC)
"How DARE people seeking help, ask for help on THEIR TERMS!!"

How dare ~YOU~ expect top of the line, top notch help simply for the fact that you can't afford to pay for ANY help whatsoever!

"Gee, I can't afford even a 1970 Pinto, therefore, you OWE ME a fvcking MERCEDES."

Pleeezzz. Pffft.How does that saying go??? Oh yeah. *BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS."

And you, [confederaterebel], have the temerity to quote Ayn Rand??? LOL! You'll have her spinning in her grave.

YES, Tallulah; i have not only the temerity to quote that amphetamine popping, bullshit spewing narcissistic BITCH, Ayn Rand.....i also have the temerity to quote YOU!!..

and there you have it... how DARE i, or anyone, including any victim of domestic violence expect decent help?... if a victim can't afford to PAY for help... she is not deserving of any... that's the REAL Tallulah... her REAL OPINIONS... unvarnished... she wasn't censoring herself there... this was spouted on a blog where she thought no one else would ever see or know what a hateful, selfish, abusive bitch she really is... in a lame attempt to lash out at me and taunt me about my poverty........

~

you would think a TRULY abused woman would have a little more compassion and sympathy for other abused women, wouldn't you?......you wouldn't think a REAL abuse victim would begrudge other victims having access to decent help and services, would you??....

isn't it IRONIC... that a member of Our Place and The Next Right Choice... where all they talk about is CHOICE... would turn around and say that BEGGARS can't be CHOOSERS... that a woman who gets on those forums and goes on and on about how victims deserve so much better doesn't REALLY seem to think victims deserve anything at all??!

~

now, is it just me... or does that bitch appear to have no compassion or empathy or caring for anyone??...other than her Ayn Randroid SELF....

below are quotes from research into domestic violence in MICHIGAN... which should be of particular interest to Tallulah/ Mata Hari... but apparently is of no interest at all:

Of current welfare recipients in Michigan, 63% have experienced physical abuse, and 51% have experienced severe physical abuse in their lifetimes.

Physical abuse/being afraid of someone was cited as the primary cause of homelessness in Michigan.

Over 50% of all homeless women and children REPORTED being victims of domestic violence.

Reasearch shows that a variety of factors contribute to the poverty of women and children who have experienced domestic violence, including lack of affordable housing,and lack of accessibity to legal assistance.

Some of the most signifigant factors are barriers to employment. These barriers consist of, among others: Psychological effects of domestic violence (PTSD, depression and anxiety)

these are facts... women who are victims of domestic violence often are driven into poverty... and yet, they still need HELP... in order to get proper treatment for PTSD, a victim needs to work with a therapist well trained in the effects and treatment of PTSD.... and yet... Tallulah/Mata Hari seems to resent any domestic violence victim having access to QUALITY care... because 'BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS'...

so... she is in effect, espousing DENYING victims of domestic violence any HOPE for decent help unless they can afford to PAY for it... and yet... in another post to me....here's what she had to say...

mata_hari41
2009-12-21 05:24 am (UTC)
No, there are THREE camps.
Inferno
Purgatory
Paradise

[confederaterebel] dwells in the Inferno. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

~

look at that hypocritical spew!!. she wants to deny hope to victims of domestic violence... and then wants to BERATE, CHASTISE AND TAUNT a victim for having no hope!!. this is about as abusive as it gets!!. looks like Tallulah/Mata Hari wants to reside in PARADISE (the self serving, Ayn Rand version)... while letting other abuse victims who are in poverty, rot in Hell...

~

an abusive, self serving, selfish, bitch who wants domestic violence victims who are living in poverty due to domestic violence to not have access to good quality medical and psychiatric care because they are POOR... and therefore 'beggars can't be choosers'... who then taunts me when i say i have no hope... which is what she wants for ALL domestic violence victims... and then attacks me for quoting her PERSONAL SAVIOR Ayn Rand, whose words she seems to think she owns the copyrights to...

~

the Ayn Rand quote in question is:

'we can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of reality'

Tallulah/ Mata Hari... i guess your hero Ayn Rand must have been talking about YOU...

because although you attempt to CONCEAL the REALITY of you being a cold hearted, callous, selfish, petty misanthrope; who doesn't want domestic violence victims to have access to decent care, due to their POVERTY... you cannot EVADE the CONSEQUENCES of that REALITY... because here are the CONSEQUENCES... you've been OUTED... as a self serving, self absorbed, selfish, two faced, abusive, NARCISSISTIC, AYN RAND WORSHIPPING, IGNORANT BITCH...

and you've outed yourself......... with your own words...

<

she (and her Narc bitch sisters on the Our Place & Next Right Choice sooper secret forums where they bash abused women behind their backs) will no doubt be glad to know that the insurance industry is behind her all the way in keeping domestic violence victims 'beggars' who cannot ever be 'choosers':

http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/Stories/2009/October/07/Domestic-

Abuse.aspx

~~~~~~

UPDATE!!!

here's another recent bit of insight into Tallulah's opinions on the poor, the homeless and the unemployed... it's true what they say about Narcs... they don't read the papers or watch the news... they already know everything about

everything!!.. i'm sure her personal savior Ayn Rand would be quite proud of this spew:

Re: upsetting your own rotten apple cart......
mata_hari41
2010-01-02 08:58 pm (UTC)
The downtrodden dirt poor ignorant don't have many choices other than begging.

People with ~intelligence~, such as yourself, Mary, DO. YOU have OPTIONS because you have a brain in your head.

~~

there is it... in her opinion... the 7.5 MILLION people in America who are unemployed or severely disabled... and the 48 MILLION who live in POVERTY... and the MILLIONS of homeless whose numbers are growing by the day... it's all because of THEIR IGNORANCE!!!. wow... BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS... BECAUSE THEY'RE IGNORANT!!!...

how many (according to mata hari) IGNORANT (ie: unemployed or disabled) people are reading my blog?... i'm so offended by this spew i can't quite put it into words!!. this is the pinnacle of NOT-ME, arrogant , haughty magical thinking... nope... it won't happen to HER... because she's INTELLIGENT... i like the way she spins it....sucking up a little... .saying that i COULD DO BETTER... because i'm not like all those other IGNORANT PEOPLE... because i have INTELLIGENCE... geez... this bitch for sure needs to be dropped from a helicopter into Appalachia...

~~

i've come back to this...because this one is really crawls my ass like cheap underwear......the ol bait and switch....HELEN KELLER could see through THIS crap, Tallulah!!...let's for once not allow a NARC to rewrite history....let's glace back .....this started with her posting to me that i DWELL IN THE INFERNO...not too chummy a post....then it escalates to BEGGARS (me) CAN'T BE CHOOSERS...a very nasty post... add this in with SEVERAL MORE NASTY POSTS in which she adamantly defends finding the son of a bitch who murdered my beloved dog, and tried twice to murder me, ATTRACTIVE, and slimes me with the standard abuser ploy of calling me CRAZY when i refuse to back down.........and then she pulls the old gaslighting bait and switch (yawn).....i lived with the GRAND ZEN MASTER of abusers...and while suffering through that abuse...i managed to LEARN a little about how he operates.....which is the SAME WAY Tallulah is operating IN THESE POSTS....she is relentlessly abusive to me....and then....the bitch attempts to FLATTER me...and suggests that we're somehow 'in the same boat'......WRONG!!!!.....we're not even on the same planet, Tallulah.... we're not even the same SPECIES....you're a NARCISSISTIC ABUSER....

~~~

YET ANOTHER UPDATE!

~~~

it seems that although Tallulah believes that BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS... she doesn't have any problem with CHOOSING HER BEGGARS!!... yes... in order for a beggar to have money bestowed upon them by Tallulah... they must pass a rigorous inspection process... to determine if they are worthy of her benevolence!!!!

Re: money
mata_hari41
2010-01-03 09:10 pm (UTC)
Where is this going, Mary? Where? WHERE? Me, Bink, YOU, we'd lost everything. Hit rock bottom. Had our teeth proverbially knocked out and our noses metaphorically broken. What part of poverty & humiliation do you think we don't get? O fuck. We get it. Yes we do.

We also get that, with humiliation comes humility and the latter is a GOOD thing. A few weeks ago I was in downtown Ann Arbor. A woman approached me. She smiled at me and commented on how 'chilly' the weather was and then she asked me for a dollar. I gave it to her. Of course.

A few weeks later I was walking down the same Ann Arbor street. There was a man on the corner requesting money, a homeless man. There was hostility and resentment in his eyes and words. I walked past him twice and NO I didn't give him a fucking cent. Almost did, but I thought, NO, people who want to make a sale DON'T do it that way.

~~

let's see... 'what part of poverty and HUMILIATION do you think we don't get'... so then she's strolling through Ann Arbor... comes across a beggar willing to SMILE in exchange for a dollar... a CHEERFUL BEGGAR...so she throws her a buck, and no doubt made the woman sign a receipt for it... then a couple of weeks later... strolling through Ann Arbor again... she comes upon another BEGGAR... 'hostility and resentment in his eyes'... yikes... can't imagine someone in poverty, having to beg on the street in the wealthiest nation in the world not having a CHEERFUL ATTITUDE about it...

~
this of course doesn't sit well with SAINT TALLULAH... he apparently didn't have enough humility to suit her... so she... to quote her... 'DIDN'T GIVE HIM A FUCKING CENT'... because... 'PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MAKE A SALE DON'T DO IT THAT WAY'!!!!!! WELL... i'm surprised a SMILE would suffice... i'm surprised SAINT TALLULAH doesn't require the BEGGARS SHE CHOOSES to be in blackface... tap dancing and singing DIXIE!!... she's looking for a lot of humility in a beggar... but she doesn't really seem to have all that much herself... especially for considering humility to be a GOOD THING...

gee... i'd say that 'what part of poverty and HUMILIATION ' she doesn't get is ALL PARTS OF IT!!!!! forget Appalachia... she needs to be parachuted into Ethiopia... with only a 5,000 dollar prepaid Starbucks card and a tube of Estee Lauder Sun Block... oh yeah... and some humility...

~~

Tallulah then went on to insinuate that by me making statements concerning poverty... that of myself and others... that i am somehow SOLICITING money!!.

(please take note of how her behavior toward me has changed YET AGAIN....she tries the old tired gaslighting routine.....'we've all been there...you're intelligent'.....the bitch obviously doesn't think i'm too very intelligent....or she wouldn't be pulling this kind of bullshit!!...and now it's back to i'm a beggar who can't be a chooser...because of MY BAD ATTITUDE..that i can't find decent help because of MY BAD ATTITUDE...wonderful, benevolent saints like herself refuse to offer me help because of MY bad attitude....here's my bad attitude, Tallulah...go shove a dollar up your own sanctimonious ass!!)

the greedy are always paranoid that someone is out to fleece them of their dollar!!.. get a grip, Tallulah... AND... it's at your favorite victim hunting ground... Our Place... that the very FIRST thing you see is a PAYPAL BUTTON!!!

'abandon your debit card pin, ye who enter there'... right Tallulah???. hahahahahahahahahaha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND NO MATTER WHAT THE BITCH TALLULAH BELIEVES... this is BEN... he was the love of my life... he was 15 years old... the psychopath that Tallulah INSISTS is so attractive smothered BEN to death on his own bed... on Valentines Day... February 14, 2007...

apparently this doesn't bother her a bit...
apparently NOTHING much bothers Tallulah the Ayn Randroid.....

BEN 2/14/2007

smothered to death in his own bed on Valentine's Day

MURDERED by the PSYCHOPATH Mike McGrannahan

mommy always loves you BEN,
i will not let him get away with murdering you

i promise

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
- Chaim Herzog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and THIS is the nasty dog murdering piece of psychopathic FILTH that murdered BEN...
the piece of scum that Tallulah KNOWS is a murdering PSYCHOPATH yet still finds so ATTRACTIVE...

Mike McGrannahan

Kansas City, Missouri

DOG MURDERER, WIFE BEATER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT

PSYCHOPATH

TALLULAH'S DREAM DATE

THE MOST EVIL AND LOATHSOME OF ABUSERS...THOSE WHO THREATEN, ABUSE AND MURDER PETS...THOSE BASTARDS DESERVE TO DIE!!!

THE PIECES OF WORTHLESS ABUSER SHIT WHO
THREATEN AND ABUSE AND MURDER PETS
DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!

this is a subject close to my heart...my abuser murdered one of my dogs...the love of my life....and daily threatened and abused my other pets...he threatened my daily with 'making them disappear'...he told me he would file false police reports (which he did)...get me arrested, (which he tried to failed to do) and sell them to research labs while i was 'locked up'....he kidnapped one and held him for ransom so he could go on a drinking and drugging spree...the theings he did to me we horrible enough..but the things he did to my pets are INEXCUSABLE...except of course on Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox..there i was chastised for my anger over him murdering my dog...there i was berated for hating him...for wanting him dead....not only was his abuse of me ignored and negated and glossed over....so was his abuse of pets he professed to love when it agrandized him...and cold bloodedly kidnapped and murdered, abandoned and neglected when that suited his agenda..they can forgive him...but i won't...... i want him that vile evil bastard dead... and he can't be dead soon enough or long enough or in a horrible enough manner to suit me... because the piece of filthy loathsome abusive SHIT murdered one my dogs..... and threatened and covertly abused the others... the threatening and abusing and mudering of pets... another MAJOR ASPECT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE that is NEVER ever mentioned on those VAPID, ASININE, INSIPID, POINTLESS FORUMS, Our Place, The Next Right Choice and Trubbles Catbox... i'm only surprised they didn't find a way to blame ME for HIM abusing my pets....i'm only surprised they didn't label my pets as CODEPENDENT!!!

another off limits topic... just ANOTHER form of abuse for them to minimize and ignore ...they have more compassion for an abuser than innocent animals!! ..... how many of their own abusers, who they defend and forgive, are guilty of this unspeakable , unforgiveable , undefendable, unconscionable crime???.. according to STATISTICS: PLENTY...

in surveys of domestic violence shelters........85% reported that victims talked about pet abuse, and reasearch shows that a whopping 73% of all women who reported domestic violence also reported that their abuser had either THREATENED/ HARMED/ OR MURDERED A PET....

LET'S GET REAL HERE... OF COURSE SOME PIECE OF SHIT WHO WOULD ABUSE A WOMAN WOULD HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT ABUSING A PET!!.. AND... THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INDUSTRY ITSELF HAS DONE ALMOST NOTHING TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE...

AND ARE THEY THEMSELVES ARE COMPLICIT IN THE CONTINUED OPPRESSION AND ABUSE OF WOMEN BY NOT MAKING PROVISIONS FOR AN EPIDEMIC SITUATION THAT THEY ARE WELL AWARE OF!

Unfortunately, many victims stay in abusive relationships because they don't know what to do with their pets. Many victims, up to 25%, report that concern for their pets had affected their decisions about leaving or staying with the batterer. Higher proportions of rural than urban women reported that their partners had threatened or harmed their pets and that concern for their pets had affected their decisions.

One way to further traumatize the human target of domestic violence is to injure or kill that person's beloved pet. When domestic violence erupts, family pets are often the first target because abusers understand and exploit the deep bond between pets and family members. Threatening the pet often causes the victim to stay for fear of what might happen to the animal if they leave. Studies have found that almost half of battered women delay their escape for that reason.

According to Wayne Pacelle, President and CEO of The Humane Society of the United States, "The bond between people and their pets is so powerful that people would rather stay in an abusive situation if it means protecting their animal. A pet is sometimes the only positive and unconditional relationship that a victim might have and that means they will do absolutely anything to keep them safe.

We want the law to recognize the deep significance of that relationship and acknowledge that for most people, a pet is part of the family and therefore a victim – and a pawn -- in the horrendous cycle of domestic violence."

To date, only three states -- Maine, New York and Vermont -- have enacted laws permitting family pets to be included in protective court orders involving cases of domestic violence. Such court orders are meant to shield animals as well as spouses and domestic partners from abusers

An additional 12 states: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, Rhode Island,Tennessee. Texas,Utah, Virginia, Washington, and the District of Columbia, have considered "pet protection" legislation.

Like many professionals working to protect victims of domestic violence, Jeanne Yeager, Executive Director of Mid-Shore Council on Family Violence in Maryland, supports adding pets to protection orders. "Such measures will provide much needed protection to clients with pets. Pet protection orders will offer victims of abuse an alternative to staying in abusive relationships for fear of what will happen to their pets if they leave."
~~~~~

THE UGLY FACTS:

Seven of every 10 families with minor children include a pet -- more than 64 million households in total.

Research shows that pet abuse is a predictor of domestic violence. Paying attention to pet abuse can save human lives.

Studies show that up to 73% of battered women report their pet was threatened, harmed, or killed by their partners.

A national survey found that 85% of women's shelters indicated that women seeking safety described incidents of pet abuse in their families.

Batterers threaten, abuse, or kill animals to demonstrate and confirm power and control over the family, to isolate the victim and children, and to prevent the victim from leaving or coerce her to return.

Domestic violence shelters and animal protection organizations have ONLY RECENTLY begun partnering to develop "safe havens" for pets of domestic violence victims because many victims delay leaving out of fear for their pets' safety. All too often, batterers punish victims for leaving by killing their pet. Yet, with the help of over 100 safe haven programs currently operating today in the U.S., many victims no longer have to choose between their safety and their pets.\




VICTIMS STILL DO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEIR SAFETY AND THEIR PETS...

i can speak from experience here... i lived in TERROR of my psychopath abuser... because of his constant threats against my pets... i had nowhere to take them... so i stayed... to provide them with a home... to try to keep them safe.....

the disinterested, bored, enabling police refused to arrest him after he tried to murder me... then left him to do as he pleased... and he did... there was no one to protect me... and no one to protect BEN... he murdered the love of my life... a helpless 15 year old dog... who had survived liver cancer, but could not survive an attack by a maniac... he smothered BEN to death in his own bed... on VALENTINES DAY...

this piece of shit doesn't need to see a go into treatment...he needs to go six feet underground.... this bastard doesn't need to be taken to jail... he needs to be taken to the gallows... this pyschopathic monster cannot be REFORMED... except into COMPOST.....

ignoring pet abuse and murder at Our Place, The Next Right Choice and the Catbox....par for the course...i've seen them post about feeling sorry for men who murder their wives and familes!!...compassion for killers...... while they ignored and minimized my abuse, and the abuse my pets suffered at the hands of that monster......and then there is Tallulah...who knowing what my psychpath abuser had done to me and my pets...upon seeing a photo of him...managed to find him 'attractive' and 'easy on the eyes'!!!!!.doesn't get any more caring and kind and compassionate than that..... and extended to the ABUSER, as usual..

they continue to makes excuses for piece of shit just like him... they take responsibility for the actions of pieces of sub human garbage... they forgive... they forget... they who told me to 'get over it'..... who told me i am wrong to DESPISE that PSYCHOPATH....wrong to be angry..... wrong to seek REVENGE... they who told me: LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE...

i wouldn't know whether living well is the best revenge... because i am not living well... the PSYCHOPATH did so much physical and emotional damage to me that i am UNABLE to work and LIVING IN POVERTY... and BEN... he won't know if living well is the best revenge, because BEN IS NO LONGER ALIVE... THANKS TO A PIECE OF ABUSIVE PSYCHOPATHIC SHIT... WHO DESERVES TO DIE...

BEN 2/14/2007

“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget."
Chaim Herzog

_____________________________________

Michael (Mike) McGrannahan

Kansas City Missouri

DOG MURDERER, ABUSER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT

PSYCHOPATH

COCKROACH

UNFORGOTTEN

UNFORGIVEN

UNFIT TO LIVE!!!

Do the Admins Even Read Their Own B.S.?

What do I do if I think I'm being abused?

Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.

http://www.our-place-online.net/abuseinfo.html


Wait a sec... let's look at this one... line by line

Educate yourself. But toss off the forums people who merely post information... heaven forbid anyone think for themselves... embrace rigorous truth or figure something out that we don't spoon feed them...

Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about abuse. See above.

We have an excellent resource section with links and book recommendations as well as very active forums so you can talk to others who are or have been in similar situations. And we pilfered those resources from other sources, and don't you dare have better resources or stuff than us admins!!!

Do not confront your abuser as this generally escalates the abuse. Don't confront us admins or Dr. Irene as only we get to decide how you should feel and how you should heal... or heel...

Learn coping techniques while you decide your course of action. And we get to judge if your coping techniques are appropriate... don't stand up to the abuser... lie down... be codependent... blame yourself... feel sorry for your abuser... and most of all... BABY STEPS...

And remember…the abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated.
Unless it's us doing the mistreating, misinterpreting or avoiding the truth... then we blame you for having being honest, bad mouth you... call you an angry stalker or tell you you're wallowing, berate you and throw you off our precious forum... Our abuse IS your fault.

smell the hypocrisy anyone?

BABY STEPS???!!....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!

OMG!!.. when i first ventured into the world or forums for abused women... every other post was about baby steps!!!... 'take baby steps'... 'remember... baby steps... take baby steps'

i was stunned... but i quickly surmised that the rank and file on the catbox, and our place and the next right choice were whining, hand-wringing babies... so i guess the baby steps thing was to be expected...

but then... when i ventured into online therapy... dished up by a licensed therapist, for pete's sake... i heard the same thing... 'just take baby steps'...

uh... let's get real here... first off... we're not babies... and secondly... have you ever actually watched a baby taking 'baby steps'???... it's not pretty... one step forward... four steps back... they fall down a lot too... and sometimes they can't get up!!! baby steps don't get you anywhere!!! ask any real baby!!! a baby can take ten thousand steps, without ever escaping the imprisonment of her playpen!!.

let's can the 'baby steps' bullshit, ok?... it's insulting... and it's asinine...

You're Just Bitter

The bitches on Our Place and Next Bogus Choice called members like me BITTER... Bitter? LOL!

CLICK HERE LADIES!!

“You’re just bitter.” This is a phrase commonly used to silence women. Another variation says, “You are so unforgiving.”

The bitterness accusation is used to bully a woman and tell her how she “should” feel instead of asking her how she does feel. Someone who uses this label expects her to pretend there has been no harm, no foul. She is expected to pretend the one who hurt her is a great person, even if she knows he is a terrible person. If she does not pretend, it is because she is “bitter and unforgiving.”

Abusers nearly always sling this accusation at their victims. She may have accepted him back with open arms after a dozen violent episodes, but the first time she hesitates to “forgive and forget,” he will tell her she is a bitter and unforgiving person.

If only it stopped there. The world does not want to hear the voice of the abused, either. Let her speak of abuse in the divorce hearing, and the judge may roll his eyes. When he makes his ruling concerning child support and visitation, he will keep in mind that the woman is “bitter.”

Let her speak of it to the church, and they will label her a feminist – even if she firmly believes in male headship and supports all the patriarchal viewpoints.

The fact is, no one wants to hear it. In most circles, she can say, “My former husband was abusive,” and only be labeled a feminist. But if she ever says, “He backhanded me across the face when I disagreed with him, and he dragged me through the house by my hair” – now, she is “bitter.” Her words are interpreted as angry and violent, as if only a violent person could speak such awful words.

The message to abused women: Shut up about it. Go back to being ashamed, as if that hand across your face had left a nasty stain that made you evil rather than him. It is not dignified or proper to speak of the ugliness of abuse. It offends our sensibilities. By making us hear about your experience, you are violating our sheltered little world. We can forgive the man for hitting you, but we cannot forgive you for having the bad manners to actually talk about it.

Speaking the truth is not a sign of bitterness. It is a sign of wholeness and stark, unblinking courage. It takes guts to go beyond “He abused me” and say “He held a pillow over my face until I thought I was dying,” or even “He did things so unspeakable, I cannot make myself say them.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A woman may know the truth without speaking it, and she may in silence escape her own situation. But a lone woman with sealed lips will not change the world. It is not only the woman who must be set free; society itself needs to be set free from a culture of violence against women.

We must speak the truth to our society, so that we can all be set free.

http://www.waragainstwomen.com/

Singing the praises of DOORMATS

every house needs a doormat, right?.....sure....i'm not opposed to doormats.....as long as they're made of rubber...or jute....or astroturf......but i do draw the line when doormats are made of flesh and blood.......being a doormat is nothing to aspire to.....let alone something to sing the praises of......i have been on several abuse forums...still am on some GOOD ones.....and i've been booted from three very very very bad ones....three that sing the praises of doormats......

i was booted off THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE..because i refused to embrace the belief that the next right choice was to be a doormat...or to be proud of being a doormat...a close friend and i were posting back and forth to each other.....i was offering her sympathy as to her physical limitations, which were greatly interfering with her emotional healing from her years with a psychopath.....we were discussing how some things cannot be overcome.no matter how many positive affirmations you chant..or how much HOPE you cling to....uh oh.....the magic word. HOPE....in more ways than one!!....

immediately an admin there jumped in.. first attacking my DISABLED friend for 'WALLOWING'...... my friend then dared to post this nugget of 100% truth.. they can't take full strength truth over there at THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE:

"Some things do not heal.
PTSD from a psychopath for instance.
You cope, you adapt but its always there - always.
And Hope is just a word"

UH OH!!.....the admin then posted this piece of smarm:

'No matter what has happened in your life, no matter what you struggle with, you still make choices. Your choice may be simply to take one more opportunity to vent bitter anger, or it may be to realize that one person out there can benefit from compassion, and yes, from hope.

No matter what happens, we can choose to care. We can choose to be kind. We can choose to help one another. We can choose to contribute something positive. Is this denial? I don't think so.

I'll take the example of my mother, a woman abused and molested by her father, forced to drop out of school because of extreme poverty, raped and forced to marry the rapist who got her pregnant, lied about and legally stripped of her parental rights while her abusive rapist husband stole her two little girls, forced to live without them in her life, suffering with serious health problems as a result, and YET...

She was perhaps the kindest, the most loving, gentle, bright and sunny compassionate person I've ever known. She chose to love in spite of everything and anything.

IT WAS A CHOICE. She became her choices, and it made her beautiful.'

WHAT A CROCK!!... they're very big on pretend CHOICES over there....so..her mother was a HAPPY DOORMAT... SUNNY in the face of abuse..... her CHOICE was to be a HAPPY doormat, instead of to not be a doormat at all?...... i would hardly call THAT a right choice!!... yeah....i've seen smiley faces on doormats...with the dirty footprints of a psychopath all over them......and this apparently is something everyone should CHOSE to aspire to......to be a happy smiley faced doormat.....lest we become BITTER.......geez.........

i'm not sure what has caused the twisted thought process in some women that i call 'happy doormat syndrome'.... was it june cleaver and donna reed and harriet nelson....pushing the hoover in their high heels and pearls?....with a perpetual corpse's grin plastered to their faces........

are those high heel wearing american geishas to blame?.......

whatever has caused it.... it needs to STOP....there is no glory in being a doormat... ask any doormat!!....it's a dirty thankless job......
and whether you are a doormat with a SMILEY FACE or not.... the result is the same.......people drag their shit covered shoes across you....

Dr. Irene's Pattern of Abuse

from RickRoss.com:

I knew Dr. Irene, first as a patient and later as one of the administrators to her site. At one point, I was invited to her house for dinner with her husband and other admins from the site.

What was amazing was how quickly and sharply she turned against me when I merely defended one former admin.

Dr. Irene said she hacked into the site, but clearly she didn't. It is a long story why I know the admin didn't hack in the site. More important, her reaction to my defending the other admin was to ban me from the site. When I confronted her in email, she first didn't remember me, then she went in the whole victim routine how everyone is against her, never dealing with the facts of whether or not the admin hacked into her site.

This was important to me because the person accused is the nicest person in the world. She was working six hours a day for at least three years on the site. I really believe that Dr. Irene accused her of something wrong and then publicly posted it on the site to reduce the sympathy factor for how she treated this woman.

This has been a pattern for Dr. Irene. She finds people, she praises them, then she dumps them. She did it with the original webmaster. Then she did it again recently.

Dr. Irene did help me with a controlling abusive relationship. I don't think she is a charlatan or a quack as she was well grounded in effective cognitive techniques. She also can be warm, generous, and charming.

Until she is threatened. Then she can cut you off so quick.. which I could respect if she was honest about it.

However, she acts flippy and weird and plays dumb and doesn't remember people she's worked with for six years and acts like a victim when she started it all.

She just goes loopy in a very manipulative way, if that makes any sense.

Read the rest of this thread! Click Here!

More:
http://thecatboximplosion.blogspot.com/

Silencing the Lambs

The agenda is very clear at the Catbox and at Our Place and The Next Right Choice... it is NOBLE to suffer... don't get angry... don't seek to do anything about your abuse... just suffer... oh, you might seek out some counseling for you co-dependency issues... but other than that... just climb up and nail yourself to a cross... and hang there... give everything over to your abuser... give him the house... the business... the money... the cars... give him your self esteem... and RUN... oh yes... RUN... don't try to fight your abuse... even after you're out and safe... no... don't do that.... just RUN and preferably HIDE... forever... don't think about it...

hey... go get yourself on ANTIDEPRESSANTS... that's the CURE... make yourself so numb you no longer care... .and so, you've lost everything... so what?... a nice BUBBLEBATH is the answer to that!!!... PAMPER YOURSELF... so what you have nothing to pamper yourself with!!... just PRETEND to!!... hey... living in poverty is NOBLE... it makes you ever so much better than your abuser!!!.... and don't forget to FEEL SORRY for your abuser!... now that's really NOBLE... he's not a sick piece of twisted pathological heartless crap!!... NO!.... he's a poor pathetic shell of a man!!... although he never showed you any mercy or pity... he is deserving of it HIMSELF!!...

above all... DO NOT BE ANGRY... no... that's not productive... at least not productive to the agenda of the Catbox and Our Place... they NEED you to be suffering... so they can FEED off you... misery loves company... it's hard to devour someone who is ANGRY... just ask ANY abuser!!!!...

that's why no information is ever disseminated on the Catbox or Our Place... they don't want women to become EMPOWERED with knowledge or information!!... or with motivating anger...

they want women to stay wounded and reeling... powerless and afraid... no one ever addresses the horrible behavior of the ABUSER... instead they spend their time psychobabbling about 'personal growth'... that's the whole problem, you know... it wasn't that he was simply a raving raging psychopath... no... it's your lack of 'personal growth' that is the problem... you just need to 'get over it'... 'forget about it'... 'get on with your life'... and do all of that while FEELING SORRY for your abuser...

total utter bullshit.............

Trubbles Catbox is just the tip of the iceberg

Trubbles Catbox and Dr. Irene didn't just suddenly become abusive....they have ALWAYS been abusive....they had always pushed their agenda that women are to blame for their own abuse.....through the myth of co-dependency.....the 'administrative team' at the Catbox will henceforth be referred to as the woman hating Irene's flying monkeys.......
her original lap monkeys gleefully dished out abuse to abused women for years before the blowup of 08.....they shamed, blamed, chastised, berated and abused anyone and everyone who did not follow the carefully drawn party line.......'YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR YOUR ABUSE'...they continually attacked dissenters......while turning a blind eye to abusive board members who aided and abetted them in pushing their agenda.......one of the top abusive psych cases on there was one who called herself DISCO.......when Irene went off her meds or off her rocker, or a combination of both in 08.....while she was merrily attacking the rank and file abuse victims on her forum........her flying monkeys joined in, lashing out with wild abandon.....and defended the wicked witch .....and continued to do so........until Irene turned her vitriol and rage on them, too.........ohhhhh.......then widdle flying monkey feelings got hurt........and when she threw them all out of 'her house' like yesterday's garbage......they flew over to invision power board.....and set up their own franchise........OUR PLACE....setting up some stiff competition for Irene in the abusive abuse forum realm......same abusive flying monkeys.......same abusive agenda.....new name........Our Place reads people's PM's too..they of course claim to be kinder and gentler.. but they're not.......they snoop into poster's messages to other posters.......just like they did at the Catbox.....they control and manipulate the posts and the posters....it is primarily comprised of old soldiers......some of the most prolific posters on there have been hacking away at abused women for years......they were once perhaps abused women themselves...but over the years they have become abusers.......chewing up and spitting out the 'newbies'......tender fresh meat.......yum yum.......
and any 'newbie' is suspect........why, you might be a mole from the franchise across the street.....Trubbles Catbox!!.......anyone who wanders on there is scrutinized and investigated behind the scenes.........they trace your IP......they put tracking cookies on your computer..... the paranoia behind the masks they all wear is rampant.......
add it all up and it spells........NARCISSIST.....they are all what they claim to be fighting against.....they are all sneaking, conniving, backstabbing, paranoid control freak narcissists......hell bent on further controlling women who are trying to break free of having been controlled........if you are an abused woman.........BEWARE..........check out other forums first.......there are lots of good ones out there.... www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com is a very good one...as is abusesanctuary.blogspot.com... which is maintained by another abuse victim who was driven off the Catbox and off another forum created by some Catobox alumni....The Next Right Choice....she was banned from both, for posting INFORMATION ....INFORMATION that might help some poor victim SURVIVE ..... they don't like real INFORMATION to be posted at the Catbox or at Our Place or at The Next Right Choice....articles...professional opinions....anything and everything that doesn't jibe with the "YOU'RE TO BLAME" and CODEPENDENCY crap they espouse is not welcome.....and they make that very clear to anyone posting it.............if you are an abused woman...you should avoid Trubbles Catbox....Our Place and The Next Right Choice..........or you'll likely come crawling out of all of them in worse shape than you went in........